Brown on the beach

My homage to the Oscar Race

2009-01-13T06:25:00.000-08:00

I thought "Milk" was a better movie, but "SM" was pretty amazing. "Milk" is a political story that could have been a scold but it is made with such a light hand that makes it fun to watch. Still, Danny Boyle should definitely win for Best Director for that opening scene alone. Acting was a little uninspiring once the kids grew up. I liked the jazz hands at the end.

Anyway, it inspired me to cook Indian for dinner Sunday. Despite his British heritage, Iain doesnt like Indian food. I chalk that up to the gloopy cafeteria curries he had at school. This is more of a southern Indian meal so not really geographically-correct, but highly recommended. Not difficult if you can find all the ingredients. Careful w the chiles - even with 1 in each it is still rather spicy. Click on the links for recipes.

Indian Shrimp Curry
Beet Cheera Pachadi (Beet Curry)

OK, so the crowns look silly

2009-01-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

They are a British thing. Christmas dinner with Iain's family in London.

Christmas in Venice

2009-01-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Pictures from our lovely trip. Click on album to see larger version. Enjoy!

Venice Xmas 08

Live London, Die Young

2008-12-11T12:42:00.000-08:00

I leave for London tomorrow. I'll be there for 2 weeks to spend the holidays with Iain's family. I'm really excited.

People ask me if I miss London. The answer is yes, of course, but it is slightly more complicated than that. London is like my imaginary first serious boyfriend: I was totally crazy about him. he was wild and good looking in an offbeat way. All I wanted to do was spend time with him. But the longer we went out, the more I realized that he was probably not great for me: we partied a little too hard, he made me spend all my money, and after awhile he started to come between me and my family. I moved out and try not to think about him too much anymore.

And I'd probably take the scoundrel back in a second.

Hawaii Pix

2008-12-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

(Without the pix of me in a bathing suit)

Thanksgiving Pix

2008-12-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving: A Review

2008-11-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

The NYT had an article on Wednesday about how to run your Thanksgiving Dinner like a CEO (“'It starts with asking yourself, as the Thanksgiving chief architect, what is your vision for this day and this meal,' said Amy Edmondson, the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School. ") If I manage at work the way I did the dinner last night...well...that explains a lot.

So the menu and the reviews:
Turkey: I tried the LATimes dry-brining recipe and let me tell you, dry-brining is the way forward. Totally juicy, totally firm/not fuzzy texture, tasty and and easy.

Mashed potatoes: An oversight. Lumpy.

Chestnut, Prune & Pancetta stuffing: Very tasty. Very good. Not good for you. Expertly executed by Executive VP of Thanksgiving, Laura.

Sunchoke Gratin: Easy and always a crowd pleaser.

Laura's Famous Pan-Roasted Brussel Sprouts: Love the little cabbagey-nuggets.

3-Day Turkey Gravy: I made the mistake of making the NYT "Turkey Gravy from Scratch" recipe. It was very good, but those are 3 days of my life I will never get back.

Rustic Apple Tarts: I almost ruined Thanksgiving with these freaking things. They sound easy, esp if you've bought the puff pastry, but there's plenty of opportunities to screw them up. Still, people were very indulgent and pretended like they liked them (after they scraped off the burnt bottom layer).

Pumpkin Spice Cake w Caramel Cream Cheese Frosting: Another star turn by Laura. I had another piece for breakfast this morning.

Wine: Laura brought a schmancy Ferrari-Carano Chardonnay which was yummy and really complimented the meal. I provided a St Supery Virtu - a white Meritage blend. That was slightly less successful.

All in all, a very enjoyable culinary outing. Pictures to come.

A breath of fresh airs, many airs

2008-11-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Sciurophobia

2008-11-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

I'm still scared of them. But this is cute.

The Silver Lining

2008-11-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm headed out on holiday to Hawaii today. There are a few silver linings to this giant hurricane cloud of economic doom hanging over us (aside from the sweet, sweet taste of schadenfreude) and one is that Hawaii is affordable. I'll try to post some pix of us at a volcano or making juvenile jokes about leis.

I watched our President-elect's press conference yday and noticed one of his advisors is the chairman of the board of my company. I have met him (the chairman) several times, including one memorable time in Davos when we were invited to dance with him, and he is quite possibly one of the coolest humans alive. He is a Republican, but apparently pulled a Joe Lieberman on McCain and supported O. Anyway, the 2 of them together in an administration might exceed nationally-recognized coolness limits - seriously I think if you took their body temperatures together they would not add up to 98.6.

The man has his own vineyard.

I rest my case.

Guest blogger: Laura the Badmother

2008-11-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

A new feature: my sister is guest-blogging today while I recover from the election. Ladies and Gents, put your hands together for Laura the Badmother.

Yes - I am recovering from the Disney orgy otherwise known as Disney on Ice. After watching an ice skating performance no better than when Rachel used to ice skate, and people literally throwing up money to purchase piece of crap plastic toys that light up, I wondered where did I go wrong as a parent that I am actually paying money for my daughter to be corrupted even further by Disney princesses. Although watching a five year old high as a kite on $10 cotton candy (yes, you get a crap crown with ears too)saying, "How do they balance like that?" is a plus. On the car ride home, I began to ponder where my downward spiral into horrible mother began. Driving in the rain I began to plan my redemption. I was going to take Soph out of public school, enroll her in Waldorf, sign her up to volunteer in a soup kitchen, and god forbid, join a church. My plans were interrupted by a voice from the 2nd row seat of the minivan. Sophia then said that if she were one of the Incredibles and she was able to have a super power she would pick the power "to make people's boo-boos go away."

Well - I must be doing something right. Good - I can't afford Waldorf anyway.

OMG OMG Election Fever!

2008-10-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

I'm about to hyperventilate. I cant believe its almost over. I mailed my ballot yday and almost teared up. I need a holiday.

Anyway

Just got back from work trip to NYC. The election night set is gigantasaurus. I thought at first that it must be bigger than my apartment, but OF COURSE it is bigger than my apartment. Actually, it is so large, it is bigger than my last 3 apartments combined. If I liked the red white and blue color scheme more, I might ask to live there in lieu of my dwinding 401k. I could sleep under the exit poll desk, and put the kitchen in under the magic map. Wolf & Anderson would drop by every 2 years between the hours of 5p and 10p for a drink and a chat about politics.

I had a lovely dinner with my mom who happened to be in town. We ate a grownup restaurant called Dovetail on the Upper West Side. I was so broke the entire time I lived in NYC, but I imagined that people with real jobs who made real money ate at places like this. All tasteful neutrals on the walls and truffles on the plate. We ordered the tasting menu. Most of the food was very good (mmm brussell sprout, apple, pancetta & manchego salad and house smoked salmon wrapped around wasabi panna cotta amuse bouche) and some weak (grilled lobster and grapefruit appetizer and prime rib). Didnt rock my world, but a really nice dinner.

Other non-work distractions: I had coffee w Q (he's ok), and tromped out to Brooklyn in the pouring rain to meet the brand new Ben Kafka (he's cute). I guessed that the neighborhood has changed somewhat since I lived there, but WOW has it changed. There's a WINE BAR for chrissakes.

NY can sometimes feel like a Wes Anderson movie. Driving in from JFK, I had a Haitian cab driver listening to a radio show featuring Quebecois sea shanties. Seriously.

Rachel's Rules for Debt-Free Living

2008-10-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

As of today, I am officially free of credit card debt. I still have a Kirsti-Alley-on-a weeklong-donut-binge-size mortgage on my flat in London, but still. I consider paying off my credit cards a major achievement. Forget Suze Orman, or any of those other money witch doctors: here are a couple of the crucial rules that helped free me of my credit card debt.

1. Dont buy shit. Dont buy "shit" as in crappy crap that you dont need and "shit" in the sense of dont buy anything at all, ever. Its hard, but you get used to it.
2. Marry a husband that can live off air and the flesh of small insects if the need arises. It helps that he (occasionally) has a job, but the fact that he doesnt seem to have any material desires whatsoever is helpful.
3. Make your parents pay for college. I did, and it works. It helped that I didnt get into any of the horrifyingly expensive private colleges I applied to and was forced to go to a state school, but now I'm just quibbling. They paid, and I came out of college able to wait long enough to get a job I actually like and pays me a fair amount of money. Which brings me to number 4.
4. Get a job that pays you a fair amount of money. Its nice to be a community organizer, but Obama was a community organizer and he's never been able to live it down. Become a banker. At least when you get laid off, you'll get a golden parachute.

Bob

2008-10-21T08:41:00.001-07:00

I wish I had a dog. A French Bulldog. I would name him Robert Downey Jr. and we would call him Bob for short.

These are funny (click here)

I dont want to lose you

2008-10-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

So, dear reader, it has been awhile...

I got busy at work, had to travel, but that's really just an excuse.

This election is overwhelming in so many ways: every day I go to work and every day the story is wilder and weirder and faster than when I went to bed. You could not script this stuff. Truth is, indeed, much, much stranger than fiction. The election was given to us by the News Gods, but now please stop the world because I would like to get off (for a little while, at least).

Then, as if the election isnt enough to keep even a serious case of ADD in check, then comes a global financial meltdown. And Madonna is getting a divorce! The sky really is falling!

I cant keep up. And more importantly, I probably shouldnt. My esteemed employer has some pretty strict rules about what I can talk about in the public sphere and they tend to be quite religious (if you forgive the phrase) about enforcing them. I like my job. I like my health insurance. I like my (ever-dwindling) 401k. So I cant really talk about what I think of this insane election. The meltdown has become pretty politicized as well, so prob should not talk about that either (although I do think the Bailout was a fundamental failure of democracy, but I mean that in a populist, Lou Dobbsian, I-hate-everyone-equally kind of way. So sue me.). With all the really important, really heavy things going on in the world at the moment, I felt a little Marie Antoinette-y writing about a nice restaurant we went to for my bday (Hatfields) or the latest tv (Korto should have won "Project Runway") or my latest fabulous/glamorous holiday (er, none).

Anyway, it has become clear to me that the world is going to continue being weird so that should probably not stand in the way of my totally inane ramblings. So I'm back. Sort of.

Pass the cupcakes.

Hunkering Down

2008-09-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Still here.

The hurricane is moving in, so I'm working the weekend. That will put a crimp on exploring Atlanta's substantial charms, but hey I'm here to work.

At least my hotel is nice - nice gym, nice pool, a kitchen etc. Plus, it is, apparently, a hot spot. Every night when I get home the parking lot is full of Bentleys and Ferraris and the bar is crowded with professional athletes - or at least I assume they are professional athletes because they are GINORMOUS. Lots and lots of very gigantic men with little drinks in their oversized paws and women who would benefit from a proper bra fitting because the cup sizes appear to be too small for them.

I'm in Atlanta

2008-09-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

I'm pouting.

2008-09-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

You will notice my new, company-mandated disclaimer at the top. Obviously, the only interesting thing to talk about this week is politics, and I cannot. So I'm going to pout. If you want my analysis of her speech last night, email me and I'll send it to you, but remember: the views contained within are simply my personal views and not the views of my employer. I am ostensibly a journalist and have no real personal views. Ever and ever amen.

I watched, despite myself, the new 90210. Horrifying. The female actresses are so painfully thin, they make the women of Gossip Girl look zaftig. Plus they are all kitted out in tank tops and hot pants the whole time so I was forced to look at their chicken arms. Yuck. I made it to the point where the bobblehead with the big teeth got angry/upset/indigestion at the bobblehead with the heroin-addict eyes before I started hoping that some creature from a Guillermo del Toro movie would land on the boy(?i think?) bobblehead and munch on an eyeball. Yucky. And how the HELL did that kid who was so amazing on The Wire drop into this. Fire your agent, kid.

I am headed to SF tomorrow morn to meet up with the inestimable Verna. She is there for some emergency medicine conference, I am there for the burritos. We are having dinner at the Zuni Cafe on Saturday, so I can find out if my roast chicken has reached the heady heights.

Then I soldier on to the Mothership, arriving just before what looks like a major hurricane is supposed to hit the eastern seabord. I will require constant infusions of pep talkery, so please give generously.

Meet The Blueberry

2008-09-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Our new toy!! Our new Smart Car finally came in and I've been making it feel at home. When I drove it around LA this weekend, people waved at me like I was a parade float and came up to me in parking lots to ask about the car. It definitely makes people (and me) smile.

The ride is a bit rougher than I remembered from the test drive, and it has the acceleration of an angry golf cart, but it is better on the hills and has a lot higher clearance than the Prius. Gas mileage is roughly the same (Prius is marginally better). I was too nervous the first few days to take it on the Big Bad LA Highways, but actually it is just fine. Because you sit so high in the car, you can look all the SUV and monster truck drivers in the eye so they can see you much better. I did get it up to 80 on the I-10 last night. Once it gets going, the Blueberry can shift.

Funny that I started out my driving life about 20 years ago with Blue Thunder, a gigantic 1973 Pontiac Catalina given to me by my Grandpa Jack. It was royal blue - almost the exact same color as the Blueberry - with a white leather interior vs. the Blueberry's black leather interior. And Blue Thunder didnt have satellite navigation and an ipod dock.

In other news, Iain looks like he will be back from the desert in mid-September, earlier than we thought, so that's good. I am meeting Verna in SF this weekend, and then I'm off to Hotlanta for 2 weeks for work. I always seem to land in Atlanta during hurricane season. Hopefully the windows on my hotel room wont blow out this time.

Facebook has eaten my creativity

2008-08-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time budgeting my time around work, Facebook, and blog. I was hoping Facebook would dwindle in popularity like MySpace and I could go back to my nice quiet life. Sigh. More to come....

Laura's Dinner Night: A Review

2008-08-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

I’ve been busy since I got back, so haven’t had time to review my vacation for y’all. I’m sure you are on tenterhooks, so here goes.

I started in Sacramento at my sister’s. Laura and her friends have a rotating dinner club where each couple makes dinner for the others on the first Saturday of each month. It’s a great idea, and Laura apparently makes the most of the opportunity everytime her turn comes round. Her past themes have been classic French feast and Greek home cooking, while her friends have gone with Make-Your-own Pizza night and Classic American BBQ (for July 4th, natch). Chuck’s garden and the bountiful Sacramento farmers markets are in almost-full glory, so she chose a “home farm” theme.

The menu:

Cheese plate w figs and black olive tapenade
Chuck’s stuffed zucchini blossoms (from his garden!)
Rachel’s fried green tomatoes
Grilled Flank Steak w Watermelon-chili relish
Zucchini fettucine
Israeli couscous and quinoa “risotto” w roasted vegetables
Peach blueberry & amaretti crisp.

The zucchini blossoms were, of course, a massive hit, as was the flank steak. We probably made way too much of the watermelon relish, but it was great w the steak anyway. A friend of Laura’s brought some really delicious French wines that were a great complement to the spicy steak and the full-flavored accompaniments. I had a ball sous chef-ing for Laura and even if the food had been wack, it was still worth the effort. A very pleasant evening.

Next: Our intrepid heroine heads north to the wilds of Southern Oregon…and finds roasted quail bliss!

I havent forgotten you...

2008-08-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

Apologies for delay in posting. I can feel my loyal readers ebbing away. I was out of town and since I have been back I've found myself unusually busy. All that time spent thinking inappropriate thoughts about the US Men's Swim team really steals the hours out of a girl's day. Seriously. I am one very small step away from posting pictures of Jason Lezak and Aaron Peirsol in my locker. If I had a locker. Or whatever. xxoo Jason: Call me.

Anyway.

My birthday festivities: dinner at Chichen Itza with some friends and then, fortified by cochinita pibil, drinks at Mountain Bar. A very enjoyable, if a little random, evening. Chichen Itza is a foodie Mexican place that specializes in Yucatecan cuisine. It was surprisingly good. The restaurant is near MacArthur Park, which meant I was not allowed a birthday cake because -- wait for it -- someone left it out in the rain. I dont think that I can take it. Because it took so long to bake it.

Anyway.

I will have a more full review of my holiday later on, but I leave you with this one pearl of joy....

Take Your Sophie to Work Day

2008-07-31T10:27:00.000-07:00

Part of my continuing effort to bring Sophie out of her shell, she accompanied me to Take A Kid to Work Day. Poor shy, retiring thing.

(Click on album to see the evidence)

Take Your Sophie To Work Day

My weekend with the moderately-priced stars

2008-07-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

An eventful weekend.

Saturday I got my hair cut and who was in the chair next to me? None other than Shia LaBoeuf. He appeared to be entirely sober at the time. Later: X-Files (my review: Meh.) and dinner at Gingergrass Cafe (mmmm love Vietnamese summer rolls)later w my Home Slice. Who should jump in front of us in the queue for a table? None other than John C Reilly. Very cute and fluffy (big hair) in person, but I was really hungry. Jumping was uncool.

Sunday a lovely brunch at Matt and Rachel's - bagels & lox and farmer's market fruit. I brought my hash brown casserole and I'm happy to report that not one ingredient was not from a bag or can.

Sunday night we went w Shana, Peg, and Erica to the Gnarls Barkley concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Shana works there now and scored us front-row middle seats. It might just ruin me for live music forever. Once I've sat there...how can I be content with nosebleed seats anymore? Anyway, both Gnarls and the opening band, a Senegalese singer name Fallou Dieng, were FAB. Pix below.

Dave's Best of 2007 List

2008-07-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

My Brooklyn friend Dave puts out a yearly Best-Of music list and I pass 2007's on for your enjoyment. Past lists have run as much as a couple years behind, but iTunes has obviously improved his productivity.

Obsessive? Nahhhhh

THE TOP 40 ALBUMS OF 2007

1. JENS LEKMAN - Night Falls Over Kortedala (Service Sweden/Secretly Canadian)
2. VARIOUS ARTISTS - I’m Not There Original Soundtrack (Sony)
3. AMY WINEHOUSE - Back To Black (Island UK ‘06/Universal Republic)
4. LCD SOUNDSYSTEM - Sound Of Silver (DFA/Capitol)
5. VIC CHESNUTT - North Star Deserter (Constellation)
6. KANYE WEST - Graduation (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam)
7. JARVIS COCKER - Jarvis (Rough Trade)
8. ELLIOTT SMITH - New Moon (Kill Rock Stars)
9. M.I.A. - Kala (XL/Interscope)
10. NEW MODEL ARMY - High (Attack Attack)
11. ELECTRELANE - No Shouts No Calls (Too Pure)
12. GRINDERMAN - Grinderman (Mute/Anti-)
13. EL-P - I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead (Definitive Jux)
14. EMMA POLLOCK - Watch The Fireworks (4AD)
15. DINOSAUR JR. - Beyond (Fat Possum)
16. THE TWILIGHT SAD - Fourteen Autumns & Fifteen Winters (FatCat)
17. KRISTIN HERSH - Learn To Sing Like A Star (Yep Roc)
18. BABYSHAMBLES - Shotter’s Nation (Regal/Parlophone/EMI UK/Astralwerks)
19. BILL CALLAHAN - Woke On A Whaleheart (Drag City)
20. ST. VINCENT - Marry Me (Beggars Banquet)
21. THURSTON MOORE - Trees Outside The Academy (Ecstatic Peace!)
22. ROBERT WYATT - Comicopera (Domino)
23. MAXIMO PARK - Our Earthly Pleasures (Warp)
24. SPOON - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (Merge)
25. RICHARD HAWLEY - Lady’s Bridge (Mute)
26. WILCO - Sky Blue Sky (Nonesuch)
27. ARCADE FIRE - Neon Bible (Merge)
28. SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS - 100 Days, 100 Nights (Daptone)
29. RICHARD THOMPSON - Sweet Warrior (Shout Factory)
30. EDWYN COLLINS - Home Again (Heavenly/EMI UK)
31. ELVIS PERKINS - Ash Wednesday (XL)
32. RILO KILEY - Under The Blacklight (Warner)
33. THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS - Challengers (Matador)
34 THE CLIENTELE - God Save The Clientele (Merge)
35. OAKLEY HALL - I’ll Follow You (Merge)
36. MODEST MOUSE - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Epic)
37. BLONDE REDHEAD - 23 (4AD)
38. THE WHITE STRIPES - Icky Thump (Third Man/Warner)
39. MARY WEISS - Dangerous Game (Norton)
40. ARTHUR & YU - In Camera (Hardly Art)

THE TOP 100 SONGS OF 2007

1. Paper Planes - M.I.A. Kala (XL/Interscope)
2. Icky Thump - THE WHITE STRIPES Icky Thump (Third Man/Warner)
3. Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time - JARVIS COCKER Jarvis (Rough Trade)
4. Beautiful Girls - SEAN KINGSTON Sean Kingston (Beluga Heights/Koch/Epic)
5. North American Scum - LCD SOUNDSYSTEM Sound Of Silver (DFA/Capitol)
6. Almost Ready - DINOSAUR JR. Beyond (Fat Possum)
7. No Pussy Blues - GRINDERMAN Grinderman (Mute/Anti-)
8. A Postcard To Nina - JENS LEKMAN Night Falls Over Kortedala
(Service Sweden/Secretly Canadian)
9. Rehab - AMY WINEHOUSE Back To Black (Island UK ‘06/Universal Republic)
10. Just As You Are - ROBERT WYATT Comicopera (Domino)
11. If This Ain’t Love (Don’t Know What Is) - NICOLE WILLIS & THE SOUL
INVESTIGATORS Keep Reachin’ Up (Light In the Attic)
12. Someone Great - LCD SOUNDSYSTEM Sound Of Silver (DFA/Capitol)
13. Debriefing - VIC CHESNUTT North Star Deserter (Constellation)
14. The Opposite Of Hallelujah - JENS LEKMAN Night Falls Over Kortedala
(Service Sweden/Secretly Canadian)
15. Stronger - KANYE WEST Graduation (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam)
16. To The East - ELECTRELANE No Shouts No Calls (Too Pure)
17. Sugarbaby - KRISTIN HERSH Learn To Sing Like A Star (Yep Roc)
18. High - NEW MODEL ARMY High (Attack Attack)
19. Budos Rising - THE BUDOS BAND The Budos Band II (Daptone)
20. Keep The Car Running - ARCADE FIRE Neon Bible (Merge)
21. I’m Not There - SONIC YOUTH I’m Not There Original Soundtrack (Sony)
22. Tonight I Have To Leave It - SHOUT OUT LOUDS Our Ill Wills (Bud Fox Sweden/Merge)
23. Myriad Harbour - THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS Challengers (Matador)
24. Young Folks - PETER BJORN AND JOHN Writer’s Block
(V2 Scandinavia ‘06/Almost Gold)
25. Our Velocity - MAXIMO PARK Our Earthly Pleasures (Warp)
26. Grip Like A Vice - THE GO! TEAM Proof Of Youth (Memphis Industries UK/Sub Pop)
27. Fluorescent Adolescent - ARCTIC MONKEYS Favourite Worst Nightmare (Domino)
28. The Underdog - SPOON Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (Merge)
29. Can’t Tell Me Nothing - KANYE WEST Graduation (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam)
30. Take Care The Road You Choose - RICHARD THOMPSON Sweet Warrior
(Shout Factory)
31. Tasmanian Pain Coaster - EL-P I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead (Definitive Jux)
32. Shake It Off - WILCO Sky Blue Sky (Nonesuch)
33. Lip Gloss - LIL MAMA 12" single (Jive)
34. Here Comes The Phantom - THE CLIENTELE God Save The Clientele (Merge)
35. 23 - BLONDE REDHEAD 23 (4AD)
36. Goin’ To Acapulco - JIM JAMES & CALEXICO I’m Not There Original Soundtrack (Sony)
37. Take Me To The Riot - STARS In Our Bedroom After The War (Arts & Crafts)
38. He Keeps Me Alive - SALLY SHAPIRO Disco Romance (Diskokaine Austria/Paper Bag)
39. If Silence Means That Much To You - EMMA POLLOCK Watch The Fireworks (4AD)
40. Ex-Guru - THE FIERY FURNACES Widow City (Thrill Jockey)
41. Hatchet - LOW Drums And Guns (Sub Pop)
42. All Cleaned Out - ELLIOTT SMITH New Moon (Kill Rock Stars)
43. Walking For Two Hours - THE TWILIGHT SAD Fourteen Autumns & Fifteen Winters
(FatCat)
44. Diamond Dancer - BILL CALLAHAN Woke On A Whaleheart (Drag City)
45. Valentine - RICHARD HAWLEY Lady’s Bridge (Mute)
46. Tears Dry On Their Own - AMY WINEHOUSE Back To Black
(Island UK ‘06/Universal Republic)
47. Umbrella - RIHANNA FEATURING JAY-Z Good Girl Gone Bad (SRP/Def Jam)
48. Carry On Up the Morning - BABYSHAMBLES Shotter’s Nation
(Regal/Parlophone/EMI UK/Astralwerks)
49. 100 Days, 100 Nights - SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS 100 Days, 100
Nights (Daptone)
50. Earth Intruders - BJORK Volta (Atlantic)
51. Lionkiller - CASS MCCOMBS Dropping The Writ (Domino)
52. Now, Now - ST. VINCENT Marry Me (Beggars Banquet)
53. Familj - DUNGEN Tio Bitar (Subliminal Sounds Sweden/Kemado)
54. Down Boy - YEAH YEAH YEAHS Is Is (Dress Up/Interscope)
55. Frozen Gtr - THURSTON MOORE Trees Outside The Academy (Ecstatic Peace!)
56. Make A Plan To Love Me - BRIGHT EYES Cassadaga (Saddle Creek)
57. The Rhinohead - VON SUDENFED Tromatic Reflexxions (Domino)
58. Nothin No - DAVID VANDERVELDE The Moonstation House Band (Secretly Canadian)
59. Heartbreak - CELEBRATION The Modern Tribe (4AD)
60. Box - TOKYO POLICE CLUB Smith (Paper Bag)
61. Ordinary People - NEIL YOUNG Chrome Dreams II (Reprise)
62. Dashboard - MODEST MOUSE We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Epic)
63. An End Has A Start - EDITORS An End Has A Start (Epic/Kitchenware/Fader)
64. Do I Disappoint You - RUFUS WAINWRIGHT Release The Stars (Geffen)
65. Absurd Heroes Manifestos - ARTHUR & YU In Camera (Hardly Art)
66. Melody Day - CARIBOU Andorra (Merge)
67. Kookaburra - JOHN VANDERSLICE Emerald City (Barsuk)
68. White Hole - CHRISTINA ROSENVINGE Continental 62 (Smells Like)
69. Fake Empire - THE NATIONAL Boxer (Beggars Banquet)
70. Mobile Communication - BRAKESBRAKESBRAKES The Beatific Visions (Rough Trade)
71. Phantom Limb - THE SHINS Wincing The Night Away (Sub Pop)
72. For Reverend Green - ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Strawberry Jam (Domino)
73. Walk Around - GHOSTFACE KILLAH The Big Doe Rehab (Def Jam)
74. While You Were Sleeping - ELVIS PERKINS Ash Wednesday (XL)
75. Bomb.Repeat.Bomb. - TED LEO AND THE PHARMACISTS Living With The Living
(Touch And Go)
76. Ruby - KAISER CHIEFS Yours Truly, Angry Mob (B-Unique UK/Universal Motown)
77. 15 Step - RADIOHEAD In Rainbows (self-released)
78. Stop And Think It Over - MARY WEISS Dangerous Game (Norton)
79. Silver Lining - RILO KILEY Under The Blacklight (Warner)
80. Free Radicals Lament - OAKLEY HALL I’ll Follow You (Merge)
81. Livin’ In The Future - BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN Magic (Columbia)
82. Home Again - EDWYN COLLINS Home Again (Heavenly/EMI UK)
83. In The Human World - MAGNOLIA ELECTRIC CO. Sojourner (Secretly Canadian)
84. Wonderlust King - GOGOL BORDELLO Super Taranta! (Side One Dummy)
85. No One - ALICIA KEYS As I Am (J)
86. Civil War - JOE HENRY Civilians (Anti-)
87. The Songs That We Sing - CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG 5:55
(Because Music France/Vice)
88. Threshold Apprehension - BLACK FRANCIS Bluefinger (Cooking Vinyl)
89. Pump Up The Volume - ART BRUT It’s A Bit Complicated
(Banana/Fierce Panda UK/Downtown)
90. Seize The Day - ADAM FRANKLIN Bolts Of Melody (Hi-Speed Soul)
91. Wolves - PHOSPHORESCENT Pride (Dead Oceans)
92. The Past Is A Grotesque Animal - OF MONTREAL Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?
(Polyvinyl)
93. Business Time - FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS The Distant Future (Sub Pop)
94. There She Goes Again - RICHARD LLOYD The Radiant Monkey (Parasol)
95. The Dance - P.G. SIX Slightly Sorry (Drag City)
96. Harvest (Within You) - CLINIC Visitations (Domino UK ‘06)
97. Push - PHAROAHE MONCH FEATURING SHOWTYME, MELA MACHINKO &
TOWER OF POWER Desire (SRC/Universal Motown)
98. Green Fields - THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE QUEEN The Good, The Bad And The Queen (Parlophone/EMI UK/Virgin)
99. You Can’t Hold The Hand Of A Rock And Roll Man - OKKERVIL RIVER The Stage Names (Jagjaguwar)
100.1234 - FEIST The Reminder (Cherrytree/Interscope)

The Top 10 EPs Of 2007

1. YEAH YEAH YEAHS - Is Is (Dress Up/Interscope)
2. TOKYO POLICE CLUB - Smith (Paper Bag)
3. FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS - The Distant Future (Sub Pop)
4. BEIRUT - Lon Gisland (Ba Da Bing!)
5. THE WOMBATS - The Wombats (KIDS In America)
6. ARCTIC MONKEYS - Brianstorm (Domino)
7. BRITISH SEA POWER - Krankenhaus? (Rough Trade)
8. MATT POND PA - If You Want Blood (Altitude)
9. LAVENDER DIAMOND - The Cavalry Of Light (Matador)
10. DEERHUNTER - Fluorescent Grey EP (Kranky)

A Surprising Discovery

2008-07-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

As previously mentioned, Laura & Co were visiting Los Angeles last week. We had loads of fun. They went to Disneyland and we went to the beach a couple times. Quinn was grumpier than Christina Aguilera without her makeup, but he warmed up a bit as the week went on. I made a surprising discovery about Sophie.

My 5-year old niece is a middle-aged gay man.

The evidence: She is obsessed with Project Runway. We played Project Runway (it is a game, apparently) and tried to find designer creations in my kid-unfriendly closet. She informed me that "I dont wear black" and "I need something with more sparkle". She played Heidi Klum and told me my model-walk was "too hippy". Also, she wants to see "Mamma Mia". I rest my case.

This is what it is like to work in television

2008-07-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

Iain used to keep this quote on his bulletin board in London. It is about the film industry, but applies to television as well.

"The film studio of today is really the Palace of the 16th century. There one sees what Shakespeare saw; the absolute power of the tyrant, the courtiers, the flatterers, the jesters, the cunningly ambitious intriguers. There are fantastically beautiful women, there are incompetent favorites. There are great men who are suddenly disgraced. There is the most insane extravagance and unexpected parsimony over a few pence. There is enormous splendor, which is a sham; and also horrible squalor hidden behind the scenery. There are vast schemes, abandoned because of some caprice. There are secrets which everybody knows and no one speaks of. There are even two or three honest advisers. These are the court fools, who speak the deepest wisdom in puns, lest they should be taken seriously. They grimace, and tear their hair privately, and weep"

From Christopher Isherwood’s Prater Violet

The Nippers are In Da House

2008-07-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

The Butler Brood has arrived Chez Nous. We have lots of fun activities planned for the kids, like the Knife-Sharpening Challenge, Guess Auntie Rachel's Favorite Swear Word, and Quarters using the leftover Vodka from the Wedding Party. Good times.

Pictures to come.

Pimped-out Smart Car

2008-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

We came perilously close to buying this car on Saturday. How freaking cute is it?! Its a pimped-out Smart Car, which is too hilarious. We also saw "Wall-E", which was extraordinary. Seriously, see it. To all of you with kids, I'd be interested to hear if you think kids like it and why - whether they are just responding to the cute robot or if they get any part of the message.

Fun with Pomegranates

2008-07-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

Pomegranates seem everywhere now. They are like sundried tomatoes were in the 90s. Iain and I went to a new-ish neighborhood restaurant called Melograno ("pomegranate" in Italian) last night. I walk by the place everyday on my way to work and decided to give it a whirl.

The room is lovely! Totally faded-old-Hollywood look. You want a place like this in your neighborhood. One slight problem: beautiful patio butts up against a horrific Mexican bar playing Ashlee Simpson at top volume (yes, I'm mortified I could identify the song) so sitting on the patio is not as wonderful as it could be. Service friendly and seems knowledgeable. Great menu. Want to love this place. Iain starts with the asparagus soup and I start with pasta appetizer of barolo braised hare with pomegranate reduction on angel hair. The soup is dreadful. Iain, who would eat styrofoam if it had redeeming nutritional value, says it lacks "seasoning". Yeah, no shit. The angel hair is an explosion of flavor, but I'm not sure I like it. Actually, I dont dislike it, but its pretty odd - almost Asian-y. I opt for the Salmon special main - the fish is lovely, but the braised japanese eggplant served with it..yep there's that pomegranate again. They sure like the sweet/savory thing here. Iain has the nettle gnocchi. He doesnt like it - it is too distinctive tasting. I like the gnocchi, but I cant imagine eating a whole plate of them. Probably would have been better to mix them with normal gnocchi to soften it a bit. Dessert: vanilla hazelnut panna cotta which I love, Iain is lukewarm.

I really wanted to like this place, but not sure. It is probably a little too expensive to become our neighborhood place we go to on a Friday night. We will definitely try it again because our shabby little neighborhood needs more warm restaurants like this where the servers wear clothes and the clientele isnt off their face on 3 different kinds of intoxicants.

Intoxicants like my world-famous pomegranate punch....

More Adventures with my Imaginary Friends

2008-07-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

If Angelina Jolie and I were best friends....

When she can convince Brad to take the kids, she comes with Peg and I to the Mountain Bar in Chinatown for a gay water and a boogie. Most of the time, we have to hang out at her house because of all the nippers. She adores Drew Barrymore movies ("everyone always thinks I'm so serious!"), but if I have to watch "Never Been Kissed" again I'm going to vom. She's trying to convince me to do that hot yoga shit with her, but I tried that with Joanna and nearly passed out. Brad and Iain talk architecture, and Angie asked Iain to design her next tattoo. Good times.

The Reason Why Soccer Isnt Big in America

2008-06-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

So our cocktail party on Saturday night was fun. I did not make Panty Dropper Punch as promised, and instead made the slightly tamer Pomegranate Champagne Punch. It worked.

An interesting argument made by one of the attendees: we were talking about the Euro 2008 finals on Sunday and how Americans dont recognize the full majesty of this historic occasion blah blah blah...i.e. why do Americans not like soccer? I tried to make some watery bullshit argument that loads of kids play soccer in the US so it must be gaining traction. To which he responded, loads of GIRLS play soccer in the US. "Women DO NOT PLAY football". He argues Americans are inherently sexist, so any sport that women are good at will inevitably fail in the US. Hmmm.

Incidentally, the game was awesome. I am currently shopping for my new Fernando Torres jersey.

A Curse on all Bees

2008-06-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

I was stung by a belligerent bee, and now I'm pissed. My arm is red and swelling. I am, happy to report, still breathing and not anaphlyactic. But still, I'm pissed. Honey is just sugar for pussies. And pollination is overrated.

Annnnyway, Iain has decided we are having people over on Saturday for drinks in an attempt to drain the ocean of leftover alcohol moldering in our basement. I am going to attempt a cocktail called Panty Dropper Punch which involves tequila and Red Bull. KIDDING. I'll probably make some grilled marinated chicken thighs, grilled sweet potatoes with lime, and watermelon feta salad. I'm harassing Joanna again for her old-fashioned potato salad recipe. Hers is the best I've had. I will also make my show-stopping, knock your socks off, peach and blueberry amaretti crisp.

Or maybe I'll just drink an entire bottle of white wine before people show up and order pizza.

Have a good weekend!

Hotter than the surface of the sun

2008-06-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

Great quote about LA from 1939 John Fante novel "Ask the Dust"

"You'll eat hamburgers year after year and live in dusty vermin-infested apartments and hotels, but every morning you'll see the mighty sun, the eternal blue of the sky, and the streets frull of sleek women you never will possess, and the hot semi-tropical nights will reek of romance you'll never have, but you'll still be in paradise, boys, in the land of sunshine."

Storm's Pictures

2008-06-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

The funniest part is those pictures of Sonia, Meanboy, and me were taken early in the night because it is still bright out!

I Am An Extraordinary Machine

2008-06-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

Iain and I went car shopping this weekend. We are not really in the position to buy one yet, but wanted to scope out the options. One thing is very clear: I am not really a car person. Honestly, I dont really care that much about the pure chrome spinning rims or whatever. I get anxious driving or parking a nice car, and I get nervous paying a lot for gas or loan payments. That said, I like my conveniences and I find random cars kind of soulless. That narrows our options.

Assuming gas prices stay constant, Iain will probably continue to drive the Prius since he has to commute the furthest. I walk to work now, although that is going to get very difficult in a few weeks due to the heat, so I will probably be the primary driver. I just want something kind of cheap but cute and great mileage.

Yesterday we looked at Smart Cars and Minis. Love love them both. The Minis are obviously a lot more stylish and zippier, but I'm sold on the Smart Car. Seriously: it is very comfortable, very cheap, and super cute. It drives like a tonka toy, but I dont really care. It would be the perfect second car. Unfortunately, I'm not the only person who thinks so. There is a 1 to 1 1/2 year wait list - isnt that nuts? We dont need one now anyway since Iain will be in New Mexico for most of the rest of the year (btw: 120F at White Sands yday!) but sounds like my supercute little Smart Car will need to wait.

BTW2: I'm loving all things Ting Ting these days. "That's Not My Name" reminds me of "Hey Yeah" for some reason. I've never really been a massive Fiona Apple fan - never bought that whole "damaged scary girl" schtick she's selling - but heard "I Am An Extraordinary Machine" on the radio this weekend and it might just unseat "That's Not My Name" as my new favorite song.

Kevin Garnett should be my friend

2008-06-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

I think if he met me, we would be best friends. I would tease him about his crazy goatee, and he would ask me about the latest Obama-McCain poll numbers. When he's in LA, he'd come over on Friday night and watch Battlestar Galactica with us (he HATES Gaius) and sometimes we'd get takeout Sushi from Shintaro. I'd go visit him in Boston and he will take me to all of his favorite bars to meet his Boston friends. Sigh.

The Awesomest Picture Ever

2008-06-13T09:03:00.001-07:00

Gratuitously cute picture of Quinn

2008-06-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

Taken by Claire Bowden, Iain's brother Jamie's girlfriend.

Haikus with Peg

2008-06-11T07:15:00.001-07:00

Peg's tshirt:
My haiku for Peg upon learning said tshirt is for sale on the web:

Thank you for message
I am going to buy t shirt
Snort snort snort snort snort

Her haiku response:

awesometown my friend
but now i must bounce already
bounce, BOUNCE, i say girl!

Where the buffalo play...

2008-06-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Above are the flowers Iain sent me yesterday. It was our first anniversary, which may come as a mild surprise to everyone who came to our "wedding" 2 weeks ago. He has a cold and we are a little celebrated-out, but I made a nice special dinner that he enjoyed. We had a lovely bottle Elias Pinot Noir given to us by my Uncle Mike for the real wedding, the one last year (keep up, people). I made Bison Stroganoff - if you have never had bison, jump in! It is extremely lean and has a nice meaty taste that is not gamey at all but you have to be careful to not overcook it because it is so lean. It really worked the lovely mushroom and sour cream sauce. The dish was, not unlike our relationship, a bit odd but very enjoyable nonetheless.

Top Cheftastic

2008-06-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Only 2 short days until the Top Chef finale! This season of TC might be my favorite - most of them actually seem like they can cook and the challenges have been slightly less ridiculous than usual (I still havent really forgiven the producers for the veggie loaf with Squirt soda sauce last season). For those of you that havent been watching, a quick update:

2 Front runners: Stephanie: totally unflappable sweet woman from Chicago who cooks steady American food. Richard: good-natured chef from Atlanta with a ridiculous fauxhawk. He started out the season using flashy gastrotech crap like handheld mini-smokers and now just seems to do normal American food.

Other: Lisa: boo! hiss! villainous hideous evil woman seen above! and a bad cook! always accusing the other chefs of sabotaging her! how is she still in and not Antonia??? gag me with a handheld mini-smoker!

Dont call me on Wednesday. I'll be busy.

Thank you

2008-06-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

So. I'm back.

Back, but I'm still recovering. Actually that's not entirely fair: "recovering" makes it sound like I have some exotic phlegm-causing virus. I am doing what every other person does when they take a week off: not showering very often and watching endless "Law & Order" reruns on TNT. Iain tried to salvage what was left of The Surge and brought the extra cupcakes to work. I'm sure that made him more popular at work, but it didnt make him more popular around here.

Meanboy asked me to try and be sincere, so here goes: WOW. That was fun. I had such an amazing time. I think that everything went off almost completely without a hitch (Maroon 5-gate and The Doorless Shuttle notwithstanding). I am so lucky to have a wonderful man like Iain and wonderful family and friends to share my wondeful life with. I loved having everybody from the different parts of my life in one place at one time in such a beautiful place. There are so many really funny moments coming back to me: Linda and the Red Bull on her back, Joanna's tales of her flying circus, and Storm's "MOVE!". Anyway, enough gushing. But thank you thank you thank you.

One piece of housecleaning: send me your pictures. I never quite got around to getting those wedding-themed disposable cameras on each tables and I want to see your best shots. John The Hot Photographer will send me his pix, and I will post some of them here, but send me your cool ones in the meantime. I'm not sure my beleaguered work email server can handle massive emails, so it might be better if you upload them to Picasa or the Costco website and send me the link so I can link them. If you are feeling industrious you can send me the pix on a CD. As if you havent done enough work already.

Ok I have to get back to L&O now. Its the one with Joe Piscopo as the evil radio talk show host.

But snark-free
No bullshit

Thanks.

Triangle of Life

2008-05-20T09:55:00.001-07:00

I have no idea if this guy's strategies are correct, but I pass on in case it ever becomes relevant to you.

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: "TRIANGLE OF LIFE"
My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries.I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. I have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't at the timeknow that the children were told to hide under something.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the "triangle of life". The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the "triangles" you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

1) Most everyone who simply "ducks and covers" WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.
2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position.You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.
3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created.Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.
4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on The back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.
5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.
6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!
7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different "moment of frequency" (they swing separately from the main part of the building).The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads – horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.
8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.
9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.
10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, which does not compact.Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper. [ed. newspaper is not dead!]

Pegapalooza!

2008-05-19T13:43:00.001-07:00

Happy 4-0 Peg! I attended her gala party at the Avalon Hotel over the weekend. Much celebrating was had by all and I even bought a new frock (which made me look a little like Mrs Roper, but oh well). Sadly, my husband and I were escorted out by security before the party ended, but as I explained to the a-hole security guy, the bra in the pool was not mine.

The next day was spent lying in a darkened room and a Battlestar Galactica tivo-a-thon.

Gentrification = Frozen Yogurt

2008-05-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone watching "Cranford" on PBS? I like a lot. I know...I'm hopeless...

If you are planning coming to the festivities out west, please give me a shout if you are coming to the Thursday BBQ. REM is playing at the Hollywood Bowl that night and parking will be a nightmare. I will try to organize some sort of carpooling. There's also some back routes for you to take to avoid the crazy traffic. Sigh.

Iain has been driving to work so I'm walking to work. Obviously the extra physical activity is probably good. Plus, I am getting a real street-level view of Hollywood. I walk down Hollywood Boulevard/Walk of Stars which sounds good. In reality, the Walk of Stars is a collection of grim tshirt and drug paraphernalia shops and smells like urine most of the time. Ah the smell of urine in the morning...brings me right back to London. And Brooklyn. Hollywood is supposedly gentrifying quickly, and there are a shocking number of fancy frozen yogurt shops, but there is very little glamour.

Mama likes grits

2008-05-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

Picture above of us at Dodger game yesterday. Lovely day, but a couple setbacks: a woman sitting in front of us got hit in the face by a ball (Happy Mother's Day!) and her face exploded; it was far too sunny and my scalp is sunburned; and the Dodgers sucked ass. Still, the beer was free, thanks to my most generous employer. .

I was in Hotlanta last week for a work do held at the Georgia Aquarium. One of the conference rooms was attached to, yes, the shark tank. We all went bowling at night. There are pictures of me in a bowling shirt that makes me look like a lesbian Laverne De Fazio, if that's not redundant. I did get to spend time with friends from London (Sonia, Meara, Penny) which was awesome. We had a girls night out at a restaurant called Two Urban Licks: I had the scallops with smoked gouda grits and a Amador county Zin. Mmmm grits. Mama likes grits.

The jacaranda trees are in bloom in Los Angeles now. They have these massive totally surreal purple flowers. Showoffs.

The Anti-Bucket List

2008-05-05T08:43:00.001-07:00

Things I’ve never done

- Heroin
- Watched a Woody Allen movie willingly
- Worn a tube top
- Cried when I don’t really mean it
- Eaten a bug (knowingly)
- Read a Thomas Friedman editorial and said to myself “wow!”
- Gone rock climbing
- Ordered something “extra spicy”

Crazed Vicious Animal Trifecta!

2008-05-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

First the Killer Grizzly Bear, then the Man-eating Great White Shark, and today...I get this email from one of our editors:

"Ok it’s not a dingo but here’s the deal:

According to KCAL, a 14 month year old girl was playing at Alterra park in the City of Chino Hills when the nanny turned around and saw what she calls a coyote attacking the child.

They don’t have any other information at this time except to say there doesn’t seem to be much of a scene except an empty playground.

We’ll continue to monitor-"

UPDATE: I'm not f-ing around here, people. Here's the official press release from the police.

"SUMMARY:
On Friday, May 2, 2008, at approximately 10:30 a.m., a two-year old female toddler was playing in the sandbox at Altura Park in the City of Chino Hills. She was in the care of her babysitter. The babysitter suddenly heard her cry, looked up, and saw a lone coyote had bitten the toddler on the buttocks and was attempting to carry her away in its mouth. The babysitter grabbed the child and pulled it away from the coyote’s grasp. After the toddler was freed, the coyote ran off into the nearby brush. Chino Hills Deputies, along with San Bernardino County Animal Control conducted an area check for the coyote however they were unable to locate the animal. California State Fish and Game responded to the scene in an attempt to capture the animal.

The toddler sustained two small puncture wounds to the right buttocks area. She was transported to a local area hospital by paramedics for medical evaluation and treatment."

Laura - PorkChop better WATCH OUT. He's awfully succulent.

O!

2008-04-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

From Leslie:

"Hey guys....I'm making my world premier on the Oprah show!
Tune in for a good laugh THIS Tuesday April 29th!
Weird.
Leslie"

Check it out!

Its not me, its you.

2008-04-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

I know its a surprise, but I think it is time to break up. Yes, I am no longer in love with America's Next Top Model. It's not like I just figured out that whole thing is like watching a live feed of a lasik surgery: that's why I like the show! No, the mystery is gone. I've figured out all the tricks on the show and like Tyra said to the expellee this week, its like they have given up trying. So here are those evil tricks they play in case you or someone you love is ever a contestant on the show.

ANTM Rules and Regulations:

1. If Tyra asks you if you are sad, have a problem, or need help, SAY NO. She will use it against you.

2. If you describe yourself as a relatively well-adjusted person who doesnt like the "drama" in the house, you will lose. Do not admit that to anyone, especially your size 2 new BFF currently barfing in the one shared bathroom.

3. It helps if you randomly scream like a banshee every time someone says "TyraMail".

4. You have to have a backstory: were you homeless? a battered girlfriend? Mormon? All of these are acceptable and will allow you to be sufficiently inspirational.

5. It helps if you run around the house naked. But dont be a lesbian. Too edgy for the panel.

6. Do not ever utter the poison words: "I think I really rocked that photoshoot".

7. You need to be bitchy enough to be worth keeping around to see what your latest outrage will be, but not so bitchy that you will turn off the sponsors.

8. You should defecate Cover Girl Queen Collection.

Gratuitous cute pictures of Princess & PorkChop

2008-04-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

They just get cuter...

Bear Bites Man

2008-04-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Only in LA moment...the lead last night on the local news:

"Famous movie bear kills a man! That story, next"

Like the bear was OJ or something.

Everybody likes spicy sausage balls!

2008-04-21T11:55:00.001-07:00

I spent the weekend at my Mom's with the intention of making sausage for The Party. Sadly, or Fortuitously depending on your opinion, we were plagued with disasters from the word go. First the sausage machine we bought for the occasion was a piece of crap. Second, the old sausage machines were and continued to be crap and unusable. Third, Schulze the Sausage King gave us the wrong casings: sheep intestines instead of pig intestines (too thin). Being infinitely resourceful ladies, we decided to salvage what we could and make little cocktail meatballs out of the tasty sausage. Everyone likes meatballs, right?!

I also got a chance to try out New Sammy's Cowboy Bistro, which I had been curious about since I found out about it. According to some, it is one of best restaurants in the West. It is owned and run by a couple from SF - she used to work at Chez Panisse and he was a wine importer. They had a very well-regarded restaurant north of SF, but it crashed and burned rather spectacularly and they ran to Oregon with creditors and the IRS nipping at their heels. Now, NSCB is supposed to be a down-home French-style bistro where they grow most of the herbs and veg out back. Mom had a bad experience there some years ago (attitude!), so she has not been back. I finally convinced her to give it another shot.

Disappointing, in a word. My starter, grilled calamari stuffed w dungeness crab and rhubarb-kumquat relish, was boring and flavorless. I had lamb loin chops (gristly and tough) with blackmint risotto for my main. Both would have been ok if Mom had made them at home, but they were both expensive so I sort of hoped the dishes would get up off the plate and do a little dance for me. Mom and Victor ordered a goat cheese ravioli with wild leeks and served with a truffle flan. Except there was no truffle flan. Then the response when asked was "oh there was a miscommunication between me [the server] and the kitchen" - I file that response under "Your Problem/Not Mine". The answer in this situation is always "Sorry, how can I make you feel less like we just pulled a fast one on you". Anyway, by that time we were underwhelmed by the whole experience (although the suggested Cotes du Rhone with the lamb was fab) so we skipped dessert (! I know!) and toddled off. Ashland has much nicer comparably priced restaurants to put up with that drama. I shant be back.

On a separate note, some people have asked me about a friend of mine who is currently going through a bit of a tough time. He's ok. Thanks for asking.

Look out below!

2008-04-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yep that's Victor on the stretcher and my mom kneeling. He was hit by a car this weekend while riding his bike. He's dented, but fine. You can read the whole story here. The silver lining, the newspaper thought he was 51!

My Unruly Brows

2008-04-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

While receiving a pedicure today, the woman asked if I would like a eyebrow wax as well.

No. Thank you. I'm fine.

No. You're not. Your eyebrows are so long, they cover your eyes.

You be the judge.

I heart Jyoti

2008-04-10T09:23:00.001-07:00

The Surge continues

2008-04-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

No end in sight, indeed. If the Senate held hearings on my diet, then this is what they would say:

Gen David Petraeus: "Like Ambassador Crocker, I believe [Rachel's paunch] will require a long-term effort. There are no easy answers or quick solutions. And although we both believe this effort can succeed, it will take time."

Ryan Crocker, Amb to Iraq: "I do believe that [Rachel] has the will to tackle [her] pressing problems - although it will take longer than we originally anticipated because of the environment, [wine and chocolate], and the gravity of the issues before [her]."

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.: "Today it is possible to talk with real hope and optimism about the future of [Rachel's ass] and the outcome of her efforts there. For while the job of [making her ass smaller] is not finished, ...she's no longer staring into the abyss of defeat and we can now look ahead to the genuine prospect of [a trim ass]."

Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill. : "The problem I have is if the definition of success is so high: no traces of [cellulite] and no possibility of reconstitution, a highly effective [workout program], Democratic multiethnic, multi-sectarian functioning [flat abs], ... then that portends the possibility of [her dieting] for 20 or 30 years. If, on the other hand, our criteria is a messy, sloppy [size 16] status quo but there's not, you know, huge outbreaks of [fried foods] ... that seems to me an achievable goal within a measurable timeframe."

Real Estate Porn

2008-04-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

Iain calls Jane Austen "Rachel crack". I know. I know. But I just cant get enough. So of course I've been watching the Jane Austen stuff on PBS. This version of Sense & Sensibility is adapted by Andrew Davies who also did the BBC version of Pride & Predjudice. The funny thing that struck me about both is the real estate porn. In S&S, there's a sequence where Willoughby the Cad takes Marianne to the estate he will inherit from his aunt. She runs her hands lovingly along the bannisters and they run through the empty rooms. He's trying to seduce her by showing her his very large real estate portfolio (and it works). In P&P there's a scene where Elizabeth Bennett first sees Mr Darcy's estate and, in Davies' adaptation, literally thinks "wow that's a big house, maybe this guy isnt as bad as I thought..." I am not familiar enough with the original texts to know if Austen is that literal in the books, but obviously anyone living through the British real estate boom would recognize it in these adaptations.

Speaking of crack: Geekapalooza! Battlestar Galactica starts tonight!

Iain's Map of LA

2008-03-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

Click on the map to make it larger.

An Open Love Letter to Michael Bay

2008-03-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Michael Bay.

I love you. Your asteroid movie was definitely the best one. Pearl Harbor introduced the US to Kate Beckinsale, and she seems to have done quite nicely out of it. The Rock was fun, seriously (except the bit where all the good guys get shot on Alcatraz – that was mean). ScarJo looked amazing in that white jumpsuit in The Island. I liked Transformers, even if sometimes I couldn’t tell who was a bad robot and who was a good robot. I don’t believe anything I read on the web about your management style. I think you are fierce – in the Tyra Banks, America’s Next Top Model-way.

That is all.

Love, Me

When Farmer's Markets Attack

2008-03-26T13:14:00.000-07:00

I've become flush with success on my Farmer's Market meals. Sunday's Zuni Roast Chicken salad using the lovely fresh arugula and Strawberry-Rhubarb crisp for dessert was total yummm. Sadly, last night my run ended....

Percatelli with grilled sardines, garlic breadcrumbs, and blood oranges. A Nigel Slater recipe. It was foul. Rank. Blech. It tasted like the pasta was tossed in fishy sand with a bitter warm blobs to charm it up. I dont think it was my fault (recipe clearly flawed) and I refuse to take responsibility.

Hopefully tonight's spring pea and prosciutto risotto will compensate.

The Jessica Biel of Sushi

2008-03-20T14:50:00.000-07:00

Friday is a favorite night around the McBrown house. Friday is SUSHI NIGHT. Our little mini-tradition dates back to The Surge when I could not bear to cook another boneless skinless chicken breast the size of a pack of cards and longed to go to a restaurant like a normal person. If we went to a normal restaurant, I would run the risk of capitulating to the terrorists/calories, so sushi was the answer.

LA is, of course, saturated by sushi. We have 3 local favorites: Shintaro, Sushi Ike, and Katsu-ya. Shintaro is at the base of our hill in a very unlovely strip mall - good sushi, and excellent fusion appetizers. Sushi Ike is really old school sushi (no crazy rolls) in a really grim strip mall off Hollywood Blvd. Katsu-ya has 3 outposts - one new fancy trendy one in Hollywood, one old fancy trendy one in Brentwood, and one not fancy or trendy at all (yep, in a strip mall) in Studio City. We go to the unfancy one. Terrific sushi and they clearly put some sort of highly-addictive psychotropic drug in the spicy rock shrimp tempura because once I start, I. Must. Keep. Consuming. Spicy. Rock. Shrimp. Tempura.

They are all mildly amusing in their way. If Katsu-ya was an actress, she'd be Marilu Henner - someone who was cool once, and is very well-preserved, but kind of faded. The Katsu-ya in Brentwood would be Cameron Diaz and Hollywood would be Jessica Biel (or maybe someone a little more a-list.). My beloved Shintaro, with all its hipster Asian hottie waitresses and strip mall ambience is sort of Ellen Page-y. Sushi Ike is a little more challenging - like Adam Goldberg - who I actually saw there once. Jeez I'm bored today. I could do this for hours.

Mrs. Party Grumpy is won over by sugar and hydrogenated fats

2008-03-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so maybe I was being a grump. I actually had a really fun time at the dessert tasting. In the midst of my sugar poisoning, I acquiesed to a truly pornographic dessert table. It will be a mix of mini cupcakes and mini dessert "shots" in the following flavors:

Cupcakes: Meyer Lemon Raspberry, Red Velvet, Spicy Carrot, Black & White

Mini Dessert shots: Triple Berry Shortcake, Key Lime Pie, Dirt Pie

I just really like the idea of having DIRT PIE at my party. heh heh heh.

Princess Di aint got nothing on me

2008-03-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

I am deep in party planning and let me tell you, this is going to be the event to end all events. This is going to make a royal wedding look austere. I'm talking naked models painted gold, 1000 white doves, fois gras hotdogs for all.

Well, not really.

I am finding the wedding industry incredibly dispiriting, so am skipping most of it. I have the advantage of not actually getting married, so can skip things. I met with the florist - nice, seems to be able to stick to a rather tight budget. Here's the one I liked best from her book. Too bright? Do I care? I dont know. I'm meeting w the dessert woman today. This is an excuse to eat lots of gooey things - and to think that Iain does not want to come with. Check it out here and let me know if there's anything that looks especially good to you. Next, I am sorting out transport. Very glamorous, this wedding shit.

Iain is doing amazingly well, thanks to all who have asked. He can be a total infant when he gets a cold, but he has turned into Clint f-ing Eastwood after this surgery. He REFUSES to take the prescribed Vicodin (relax - its already spoken for) because he has this ridiculous belief that "pain is your body trying to tell you something". Personally, I'm pretty sure we dont need his body to send us an email and know why his knee hurts. THEY CUT IT OPEN. Oh well - its his pain, not mine.

Breaking Sewage News
Iain has just informed me that the men digging up our sewer outside have hit a power line. The neighborhood is rioting in the street in their nightgowns (or as much as a bunch of second assistant directors and out of work screenwriters in nightgowns can riot at 1030am). I asked him to take pictures of the hilarity for your blog pleasure, but he trotted out the damn knee excuse. What a poser.

Up to Date

2008-03-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

A catch all entry with no unifying theme. But here ya go:

We went to dinner last Saturday night at a yakitori (Japanese BBQ) to celebrate friend Rachel's bday. Nice food, but there is something disconcerting about a menu with multiple entrail offerings. I am a relatively adventurous eater, but there's not a lot about grilled chicken knuckle cartilage that reaches out to me.

The Hollywood Farmer's Market is in full Spring mode. I'm very excited about the leeks and swiss chard. I attempted to recreate the Platonic Ideal Grilled Cheese with the leeks and some Montgomery Cheddar from La Brea Bakery. MMMM. I roasted some tomatoes and used the swiss chard in my go-to dish of Grandma Sausages braised in wine with wild mushroom polenta (the dried porcinis from the Portland Farmer's Market). Iain juiced the beets before I could get my sweaty hands on them. The fun veg is not in yet, but you can see the glimmer of what's coming!

Iain has surgery on his old man knees tomorrow. Wish him luck!

RIP The Wire. Finales are always a bit of a disappointment, but this was still pretty true to the overarching theme: life is messy and shit doesnt work. SPOILER ALERT if you have not watched, stop now. I loved the way they ended the Marlo storyline, although I could not quite buy that he would just walk away from it. I did love the savage licking the blood off his arm after being shot - he's just an animal in the end. I was disappointed that they let McNulty off the hook completely but I suppose after all this time the writers had fallen a little bit in love with him. The Wire can be so difficult to watch, I guess you cant begrudge them for giving some of the characters a happy-ish ending. Dukie...oh that storyline really bums me out. One upside of The Wire ending is that we dont have to watch Dukie commit suicide in slow motion with a needle in his arm.

I am falling more and more in love with Lost every week. I was never a huge fan, but this season has really won me over. I think Lost is a little like golf - you probably enjoy it more if you are better at it or have been watching it since the beginning, but you can still enjoy it if you are just jumping in now. I also believe smart shows should be rewarded.

Another one to watch out for: the Sarah Connor Chronicles really perked up towards the end of its first season. I think it might end up being pretty good.

That's it for now.

The Hangover

2008-03-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

I'm still suffering the after-effects of the Oscars, and I dont mean my orangifying. After an incredibly interesting weekend, everything else seems too dull to drone on about. But hey - I'll drone anyway.

We went to a birthday dinner for friend Faith at a new fancypants brasserie in LA called Comme Ca. Actually its not that fancypants, but people seem to like it which means fancypants LA people go. Let's just say, I wore heels. Annnnyway I had the brandade to start and the duck for a main - both very good renditions, but not life-changing. Matthew won most ballsy, ordering the roasted beef marrow with oxtail jam starter (mmm cholesterol-ly!) and Steve won for most ostentatious with a truly ridiculous seafood plateau. Fun!

Sunday we saw "Vantage Point". Check your brain at the door. For the record, I am a tedious person to see a movie about the television news industry with. The only redeeming quality the movie had was detaching me from a Sunday morning "America's Next Top Model" marathon that threatened to consume my soul. I cant figure out if Tyra Banks is an empowering role model or an evil cyborg sent to usher in a heartless-but-fierce robot age.

Is anyone watching "Lost"? Last week's was super good - love me some Desmond.

More Oscar pix

2008-02-28T08:55:00.000-08:00

One more gallery then I promise I shall never mention it again...

Pictures are courtesy one of our cameramen.

And without any further ado...

2008-02-27T12:44:00.000-08:00

So, the Oscars.

We left the house about 330p. We decided to skip the limo and just drive ourselves. It was absolutely pouring, so the entire red carpet was tented. We went through a ticket usher, then through a metal detector, then you walk through a curtain and WOW.

Total sensory overload. The Red Carpet is split in 2 - the nominees and presenters walk down the left side, and the rest of the riffraff down the right. There are bleachers set up behind the press with about 200 people sitting screaming at the stars as they walk by. I stood behind Ryan Seacrest for awhile looking like a lemon in hopes that my sister would see me on tv. I also stood behind Heidi Klum (taller, skinnier, more beautiful in person) also looking like a total dork. The Red Carpet turns the corner into the Kodak where all fashion photogs are coralled. We stood there for awhile. Others seen on the red carpet from a very close proximity: John Travolta (very strange/alien looking. weird spray-on hair), Tommy Lee Jones (what would he be if not an actor? - the wrinkles on his face should be insured), the couple from "Once" Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard (toooo cute), Kristin Chenoweth (adorable! gorgeous dress. really nice to everyone around her), Amy Adams (dress rocked. loved the hair), Jason Bateman (totally hot and uniquely not shorter in person), and Javier Bardem (total mmmm).

Inside, there was champagne and pink cocktails. Hors Doevres I think. Too overwhelmed to eat/not to drink lots of expensive champers.

We had nosebleed but not total nosebleed seats. We had a pretty good perspective on the door the stars went through to go onstage. Seen: Helen Mirren (dress looked better from a distance), Nicole Kidman (that necklace was simply amazing), Ellen Page, Diablo Cody. Jon Stewart was sweet. He seemed v v nervous. Show was LONG but the ad breaks seem shorter in person. Weirdly, I found some weird moments very moving.

Show over...now on to Governor's Ball. The room was so amazing. Very crowded and opulently decorated. Pink Martini was playing on a raised platform over the room. Our table was very strange: One of the Academy Governors and his wife, the director Norman Jewison ("Moonstruck", "In the Heat of the Night", "Thomas Crown Affair" and that other modern classic "Rollerball") and his ladyfriend, and the Russian nominees for Best Foreign Film ("12"). Norman Jewison is a huge CNN fan and told me stories about all of the actors he'd worked with that are obsessed with CNN ("Michael Caine nearly gave my French production manager a coronary trying to get CNN in his trailer!"). The Russians hoovered up all the hors doevres but were offended by the appetizer (mini-baked potatos with caviar) - "in my country, dees iz not SPECIAL!" - and left in a huff early on. The main course was a lovely steak w red wine sauce and macaroni and cheese with truffles. Dessert was architectural cherry chocolate cake. Lots and lots of nice champagne. But enough on the food, seen at the Ball: Harrison Ford and Bobblehead (he's short, she's just eew), Diablo Cody (again), Cohen Brothers, Jon Stewart (so very sweet and so very tiny), Casey Affleck, the guys from Superbad and Knocked Up (identical twins), and my favorite...Viggo Mortensen. He was kicked back in a round banqette, and I suddenly had this near-overwhelming urge to sit on his lap. I did not, dear reader, sit on Viggo Mortensen's lap. But oh how I wanted to.

I did not see, and will eternally regret it: Tilda Swinton and George Clooney.
Not there, and that disappoints me: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightly.

It was really fun. Lord knows I couldnt do this every year (or at least without a full-time stylist and facialist) but totally glad I went.

Oscar preps - more pix

2008-02-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

Ok here's the hair and makeup pix and a full-length of the dress and tux. The power went out in the neighborhood for most of Saturday, so if it looks like I got ready in the dark, its because I DID! Yes, that stressed me out a bit - one of the many, many disadvantages of living near the Kodak Theatre! My regular crazy hair person did my hair and the makeup artist at work did my makeup. A more thorough account of the show and ball to come...

Red Carpet Stroll

2008-02-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

A full review to come...

The President of Oompaloompastan

2008-02-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm orange.

Not like a tangerine, but more like a faded terracotta tile. Also my ankles look a little like I've gone hiking barefoot. Oh well. My legs look slightly less like a weisswurst.

T-24. This time tomorrow I will be leaving my humble abode for the red carpet and Primpapalooza '08 will be complete. Some of the things I've learned from my all-out primpathon.

Facials really are worth it! I had the most amazing one on Tuesday and my skin is now the skin of a small child fed only the milk of virgin ewes (is that possible? maybe not). Anyway, an hour of rubbing and buffing is bound to be nice anyway, but it really has made a big deal with my skin.

Exfoliating works! I have been exfoliating like a mad thing in preparation for my Oompaloompaing. The spray tan woman told me as she rubbed the pre-spray lotion on my back (!) that I have the softest skin she has ever felt. Yeah, put aside the slight creep of that comment and see the truth beneath it.

There is no difference between a $20 manicure and a $50 manicure other than with the latter, the manicurist speaks English.

And now! an exclusive! preview! of some of the fashions I will be sporting tomorrow:

I was considering a pair of Stella McCartney sandles, but I just couldnt quite get my head around $700 shoes. Perhaps I will regret it, but I like these Stuart Weitzman shoes and they do have a little bling.

Speaking of bling: my cocktail ring (for color) and bracelet. The ring is real! Please disregard the orange hand (and the nailpolish - it will be roughly same as toenails) wearing it.

I will be carrying a lovely little evening purse given to me on my 30th birthday by Verna.

We will be arriving sometime around 330p my time, so look for me in the background anytime between 330 - 4p. Wish me luck!

Viva Palm Springs!

2008-02-21T08:47:00.001-08:00

Iain and I spent a great weekend in Palm Springs with The Boys. A significant portion of the weekend was spent strategizing on the Oscars. Custom airbrush or Mystic Spray tan? Finger waves or china-doll straight hair? Robert Clergerie teal shoes or, er, something else? David did help disguise my roots, as you see in the pictures. They are givers, these guys.

My blog - a caveat

2008-02-21T08:32:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the delay in posting. My boss and I have been discussing whether I should continue this blog. As you may/may not have seen, my employer recently fired a producer in NY for his public writings. He made the mistake of writing about politics (journalists are not allowed political views - or at least in public) and about the mistakes and foibles of other networks...and sending them on to be published in major blogs. That was clearly a mistake. I have tried to stay away from anything that might be controversial (although my obsession w Stevie Wonder might skirt the limits of good taste). I will be allowed to continue with this as long as I dont do anything that disparages or embarasses me or my employer or inhibits my ability to cover a story in the future. Anyway, that pretty much limits me to writing about food and posting endless pictures of Sophie and PorkChop the ColdBloodedKiller. Keep me honest.

Oscar dress hunt update

2008-02-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

Ok I think I found it. The needle in the haystack. The One Dress To Rule Them All.

The Details

Bought: at Saks.com
Price: I'm not telling, but not expensive
Designer: Tadashi
Fabric: Black matte jersey
Style: off-shoulder, ruched (ruched!) across chest. long slit up left side.
Condition of tits: on display

Bring on the Spanx!

Prom for Grownups

2008-02-13T08:44:00.000-08:00

I'm going to the Oscars.

Of course it is a huge honor just to be invited yadda yadda, but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR. Suddenly, I'm filled w neuroses. Its been a few months since The Surge, and I'm not as svelte as I was (ahem.). Do I need a facial? Do I need a full body sugar scrub? What if my skin is not GLOWIE enough. If only I could just fit into my Laura Ashley floral print hydrangea-blue strapless dress I wore to Military Ball with Phil Sheppard senior year (oh yeah Liz, you remember...) I will see if I can find that photo for your enjoyment.

Anyway, I have consulted with The Gays, and they have given me a few guidelines and pictures for inspiration:

I think keep the dress black and simple and inexpensive. Good fit. Comfortable.

Play up your cleavage.

Splurge on a pair of kick ass shoes - in a color. Maybe.

Some kick ass stockings. A color possibly.

A vintage or new - chunky necklace in color. Big, bold.

Or no necklace and some GIGANTIC drop earrings.

Gloves are a nice touch.

Is it too late to get a pre-Oscar boob job?

Am I the only one who has noticed?

2008-02-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

Britney Spears' manager and "best friend" is named Osama? Am I the only one who thinks that's weird?

The Vanity Fair Oscar party has been cancelled. They have obviously found out about my Vulcan Mind Trick I used to great effect to enter the Kodak Theatre. Pussies.

Oh yeah, Superduperwooper Tuesday. More later.

Campaign '08, The Starf*cker Edition

2008-02-01T08:16:00.000-08:00

Yep I was there, and boy was it nuts. I guess Hollywood figured if they cant have the Oscars, they will have the Debates. Hilariously, it became the hottest ticket in town. Here's my exclusive behind-the-scenes blog.

945a arrive at Kodak and walk right past the security without credentials and go inside, bypassing the epic queue. Maybe its because I ooze authority. Make mental note to try same strategy at Vanity Fair Oscars party.

950a. Jessica Yellin, CNN political reporter = adorable + tiny + blond.

1012a Tour set. Try to keep control and not steal Stevie Wonder's seat marker.

1013a Steven Spielberg! Leonardo di Caprio! Leo's mom! Democrats are much more glamorous than GOPs. Best they could muster was an Ubergeriatric Nancy Reagan and Frasier.

1228p Lunch catered by Wolfgang Puck. Who is paying for this?

1258p Receive email from the 9th of the 10 people I know in LA asking for tickets. When did CNN become cool and why was I not informed?

104p Security is asked to clear Spiderman, Freddie Kruger and Darth Vader from behind the live shot outside Mann's Chinese. Darth gets belligerent.

152p Check out the Spin Room. Food is better in workspace so I leave.

215p Consider going to check if "S. Wonder" seat marker is still there. Must. Be. Good.

341p Brandy arrives and talks about the importance of the youth vote. Uh huh. So does the cast of "The West Wing". Bradley Whitford (or is it Bradford Whitley?) is hot.

401p A Baldwin arrives. Not sure which one.

427p Stars coming quick and fast. Spielberg looks mildly irritated. The dead "Desperate Housewife" is here looking v glam. Dont these people know this is a POLITICAL event and that glamour is most definitely not allowed.

445p Stevie Wonder! Stevie Wonder! I faint dead away.

454p Wolf is making jokes. He is a really genuinely nice guy and an inspiring journalist, but sadly not a comedian.

5p The show starts! Obama is in crazy elegant suit. Hill - brown suit? hmm. At least she doesnt look like Diane Keaton, who is in all-white and can likely be seen from outer space in that outfit.

515p Quickly becomes apparent that we are trapped in a giant auditorium with two girl scouts. Are they talking about healthcare or a bake sale? I lose track. Nicey-nicey everybody kissie.

524p Yay! Usher and I get to hustle out a group of sweaty college students who have the wrong color wristbands. LO-SERS.

555p "Historic...blah blah... historic...."

614p "Historic" Everybody do a shot!

627p Did I mention that this is HISTORIC?

645p Is Bill here? Cause he's getting slated. Oh wait. Now they are applauding him. Hard to keep track.

7p Debate is over. I ride down the elevator with the cast of "Dirty Sexy Money" (love that show! miss it!) including Blair Underwood (*purrrrr*), the mystery Baldwin and the dead Housewife.

715p Hollywood Boulevard in front of the Kodak is like the weirdest political rally you've ever seen. Each of the campaigns must have sent their "Fruits and Nuts for Obama/Clinton" organizations to rally outside. A giant Spongebob is wearing a Hillary pin. My brain may explode, so I leave. I wonder if Stevie Wonder's seat marker is still there?

Pleased by Cheese

2008-01-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

Near the top of my Top 5 Favorite Things to Do in London is a morning at Borough Market. Sure, the bloom has gone off of it a bit - it is now INSANELY and deeply unpleasantly crowded - but is still foodie heaven. Pictures seen below are of my new favorite stand, Raclette Man. I dont think that's actually the name, and both times it was actually a woman behind the raclette thingamabob, but super mmmm.

The stand is owned/run by an affineur (cheese ripener) from Neal's Yard Dairy. They make 2 things: raclette (from the French "to scrape") made from a British version of the Swiss original cheese.
The cheese is wedged under a individual heater and broiled until bubbly. It is then scraped onto a pile of baked new potatoes and mini spicy pickles. You only get a glimpse of the woman behind the machine in this pic, but she was so f-ing cute you felt a little less guilty about eating a giant cheese bomb.

The stand also makes a toasted cheese sandwich of Montgomery cheddar and a smidge of red onions and leeks on Poilane sourdough bread. After a little research, I found the Ruth Reichl of Gourmet magazine had recently tried said sarnie and declared it close to "the Platonic ideal of a grilled cheese sandwich". So, um yeah. It was mindbending.

My other highlights: Indian chicken and mushroom saute in coriander pancakes, "devils on horseback" (prunes wrapped in bacon), and twice-baked banana almond cake. I thought briefly about braving the queue for the chorizo and piquillo pepper sandwiches at Brindisa, a famous Spanish food stand, but it looked almost as daunting as the immigration line at Heathrow.

Next installment: I drink!

Oi You

2008-01-28T13:13:00.001-08:00

Iain and Me in Hyde Park. I'll write more on my transatlantic jaunt once I'm caught up on my day job.

LA-LDN Travel Restrictions

2008-01-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

I am going to London on Thursday for 2-1/2 weeks. Yay! London in January! What could be more romantic? I heard there is increased security on LA – LDN flights, but asked Iain’s friend Brian to look into it. Here is the official word from Brian’s exclusive sources:

1.
Please check smiles in your luggage. If you show any signs of happiness, people will know that you are not one of them a la “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. Keep it simple - a sour grey look of total hopelessness should do it. If you cannot muster sour grey, look violent. You will quickly recognize this look on the train or tube ride into London.

2.
Bring loads of dollars. An extra suitcase is recommended. The current conversion rate is $1=jackshit.

3.
Bring warm clothes. Global warming has not been definitively proved by scientists, and the 4 hours of “sunlight” coupled with the nearly constant rain will definitively prove the lack of proof to you.

4.
The lack of sun does require an adjustment for many, but you may not notice because it gets dark at 3pm. Drink as much as you can on the plane. This, coupled with pharmaceuticals, may help with 1, 3, and 4.

5.
Due to fear of terror, no sharp objects are allowed in hand luggage. Due to fear of a lot of other things too.

6.
Immediately upon deplaning, make sure all return flights back to L.A. are in good and proper order.

Thank you.

Thoroughly Modern Mommy

2008-01-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Please check out my friend Linda's hilarious bit on Huffington Post. She's that funny in real life too. I wont tell you who's who unless you email the article to 10 of your closest friends.

Vampires of Iowa

2008-01-03T13:19:00.000-08:00

I cant really write about politics on this blog, but I will share a funny commentary on the Iowa caucuses written by a friend: a fellow journalist who does NOT work for the same company I do, so his views do not reflect the opinions of my much-loved employer.

"the most interesting outcome is an obama win -- which puts the clintons in the position of having to spin iowa as not so important, or, conversely, to spin hillary as the hard-working underdog fighting against all the powerful forces that don't want REAL CHANGE (like bill in 92 in new hampshire).

in any event, seeing the clintons spin is what you want out of a presidential election year -- if you go to the zoo, you want to see them feed the tigers, if you go to an nba game, you wan to see slam dunks. if you watch an american presidential election you want to see the clintons spin like tops, telling white lies while clinging to a sliver of truth wrapped in false sincerity and laced with ruthless ambition and political triangulation.

i'm really curious to see how the clintons would spin an iowa loss.

it's like in a vampire movie, you drive the stake through the vampire's heart, and wave garlic over him, and lock him into a chest and throw him into the ocean, but you know the vampire's coming back. the movie's not over.

What they say: WE HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT IOWA WOULD BE A VERY DIFFICULT STATE FOR SENATOR CLINTON. IOWA, AS YOU KNOW, HAS NEVER ELECTED A WOMAN TO STATEWIDE OFFICE OR SENT A WOMAN TO WASHINGTON. THE SENATOR KNEW THIS, AND AS YOU KNOW MANY OF HER CLOSEST ADVISORS URGED HER TO SKIP IOWA ENTIRELY BUT SHE FELT IT WAS ONLY FAIR TO THE PEOPLE OF IOWA TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE.
What they really mean: (THEY'RE SEXIST)

What they say: WE KNEW ALL ALONG THAT THIS WAS SENATOR OBAMA'S HOME TURF, AND THAT THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WATCHING HIS POLITICAL ADS ON TELEVISION FOR A VERY LONG TIME, DATING BACK TO HIS DAYS IN THE ILLINOIS STATE SENATE. STILL, THE SENATOR FELT STRONGLY THAT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO RUN A FIFTY STATE CAMPAIGN.
What they really mean: (IOWA IS AN EXURB OF ILLINOIS)

What they say: MANY HAVE CRITICIZED THE IOWA CAUCUS SYSTEM AS AN ANTIQUATED VOTING METHOD THAT INTIMIDATES VOICES OF CHANGE, REDUCES PEOPLE'S CHANCES TO BE HEARD AND IS INCONSISTENT WITH OUR TRADITIONS OF DEMOCRACY. THE SENATOR STILL FELT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO COMPETE IN IOWA, AND SHE ENJOYED HER TIME SPENT WITH THE PEOPLE OF THAT STATE. BUT SHE IS REALLY EXCITED FOR THE REAL VOTING AND THE REAL DEMOCRACY TO BEGIN HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.
What they really mean: (CAUCUSES ARE WEIRD)

What they say: A FEW THOUSAND IOWANS HAVE SPOKEN AND THEY SPOKE VERY CLEARLY TONIGHT IN THREE VOICES. I SALUTE SENATOR EDWARDS FOR HIS STRONG CAMPAIGN AND, YES, (PRETENDS TO TRY TO SILENCE THE BOOS) YES, PLEASE FOLKS, HE'S A DEMOCRAT TOO...
SENATOR OBAMA. MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WILL SPEAK IN THIS ELECTION AND WE ARE CONFIDENT THEY WILL ULTIMATELY SPEAK IN ONE VOICE AND MAKE HISTORY BY ELECTING SENATOR CLINTON.
What they really mean: (ABOUT ELEVEN PEOPLE VOTED AND IT WAS A THREE-WAY TIE)

What they say: WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE IN IOWA AND YOU FOLKS HAVE SPOKEN AND AS FAR AS I CAN TELL YOU LIKE A LOT OF US DEMOCRATS! I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD ... WOW! ... I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT I RECEIVED TWICE AS MANY CAUCUS VOTES AS THE LEADING REPUBLICAN!
What they really mean: (WE BEAT THE REPUBLICANS)

What they say: WELL FOLKS, I JUST PLACED A CONGRATULATORY PHONE CALL TO THE WINNER ... BUT OPRAH WINFREY WASN'T AVAILABLE TO TAKE MY CALL!!!!
What they really mean: (OBAMA WON) "

My 2008 Totally Unattainable Wish List

2008-01-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

10. To never see The Most Annoying Behavior Ever, talking on cellphones while driving, again. It will become illegal in California in July, but so is driving drunk and look how effective that law is [see: Spears, Britney; Lohan, Lindsey; etc] .

9. To never hear the initials "O" and "J" again, except within the tasty fruit drink context.

8. To purge my busy brain of all Paris Hilton knowledge.

7. To not worry and learn to love earthquakes, fires, landslides, missing families/skiiers/climbers/blond chicks, and killer tigers.

6. For a freak constitutional amendment moving the election date up to Jan 2, 2008 so I dont have to spend the next 11 months listening to hot air.

5. 3 parter: To only pay for the cable channels I want instead of countless kids and Cantonese channels that I never watch but still get stuck paying for; for FX and CW to get with the program and put out an HD channel so I can watch "Crowned, the Mother of all Pageants" in all its warty glory; and for "The Wire" to go on forever and ever, amen.

4. Another 3 parter: For scientists to discover that Mexican food is actually its own valuable food group slightly more healthy than broccoli; For the elliptical machine to become "fun", and for Alli to be upgraded and become the weight loss dream drug without the "loose stools" and "greasy discharge". Yep. That's right. Wipe out the greasy discharge.

3. For the housing market in LA to continue to sink like Rosie O'Donnell in the pool.

2. To read more fun interesting things rather than more news stories about the horrible ways humans treat each other.

1. Peace!

I have escaped the Grotto

2007-12-27T11:58:00.000-08:00

I am in my office at the moment watching a man in a trunk of a car across the street. He is lying in the trunk with his leg hanging out. There is a parked car behind him with a hidden camera. I think the idea is to get people walking down Sunset Blvd to say "hey! wait a minute! there's a guy in the trunk!" and record the hilarity that ensues when the hidden camera jumps out. Rather hilariously, no one seems to notice.

Anyway, Christmas.

An altogether successful enterprise.: The Mozza Budino was good, but way too rich for the suggested serving size. I had to push myself to finish a serving, and that's saying a lot. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to make, and appears to be very forgiving recipe. Now if I can only figure out how to make it with skim milk...

The apple-calvados croustade was a real show-stopper. We used Nocino, a walnut liquer, instead of calvados. Rocked the house. And dont fear the filo - filo is your friend. I got distracted by work and the BLOODY TIGER ATTACK so probably ended up overcooking the apples. Didnt matter, it was still delightful.

I had a major breakthrough with my yorkshire pudding. I did not realize that you have to bring the ingredients up to room temperature so they rise properly. Mine was still not perfect, but well on the road to puddingy perfection.

I have to get back now to nursing my unhealthy paranoia of zoo animals escaping and killing me in my sleep.

And we wonder why they hate us

2007-12-21T09:19:00.000-08:00

"Is France a country?"

See me. Fear me.

2007-12-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

You cant stop me. I'm unstoppable. I'm the FOOD TERMINATOR.

This happy holiday season I will be attempting 3 feats:

Butterscotch Budino (the Pizzeria Mozza recipe)

Roast Prime Rib of Beef with porcini red wine sauce and yorkshire puddings

Apple Croustade

Not all for one meal. Give me a little credit.

Gratuitous Cute Pix

2007-12-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

Awwwww.

LA works (sometimes)

2007-12-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

There's an intersection in my neighborhood that makes me gasp every single day. Cars come careening off the Hollywood Freeway, or over the Cahuenga hill, or up from the Hollywood Bowl - all are blind approaches and there's only a stop sign to regulate it. We noticed last week that the powers that be have put up a new stoplight. Heartattack averted.

Why do I mention this incredibly boring little tidbit? I was thinking about my nutty neighborhood and thinking about all of the things that got fixed this year: Junkie Palace was cleaned out and turned into condos; new "no parking" signs have gone up so all the mullet-heads that pay $250 for a ticket to see Genesis at the Hollywood Bowl (yep, still irritated about that one) dont park in front of our garage anymore; they put in left hand turn lanes up and down Highland (the major road that runs from our house down to the Kodak Theater) so the traffic moves faster with less honking; and now the stoplight at Heartattack Corner. I got a minor warm fuzzy feeling that these things were getting accomplished. Of course, Iain points out that it took about 2 years for them to repair and rebuild another intersection in the neighborhood. But that's just sour grapes.

Its no mystery that in a town as car-based as this one, politicians have to pay serious attention to the road situation or risk intense public rebuke. I have been living in major cities for most of my adult life and have become used to the one thing that they all have in common is that they just dont WORK. You just have to accept that in exchange for living in a cultural capitol and/or where you can have saag paneer delivered at 10am or an Absolut Mandarin and cranberry at 4am, the things that irritate you are just never, ever going to get fixed. The crime is never going to get better. The traffic is never going to move faster. Your rent or mortgage is still going to make your family members spit their dinner out their mouth when you tell them how much it is. That's just the way it is. But these tiny changes in my neighborhood over the last year make me think that maybe I'm wrong. Or not. But worth thinking about.....

The Big One

2007-12-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

I've had a week of company bonding events. I find them energizing and, at the same time, exhausting. Today, 2 scientists from Cal Tech came to discuss that perennial SoCal fave, earthquakes. They said that many people questioned scientists after Katrina and said, "you knew this was going to happen, why didnt you tell us?" So, they figure, we'll tell you.

To summarize: HOLY SHIT.

Here's the fun bits:
- Scientists cannot predict major earthquakes, but the one pattern they have seen is that a major earthquake occurs in SoCal every 150 years. The last one was 1857.
- The 1994 Northridge Earthquake is NOT considered a major earthquake, but 32 people died and $40 billion dollars worth of damage.
- Northridge was a 6.7 and lasted for 10 secs. The one they are expecting ANY DAY NOW is going to be 7.8 or above and last for 2-4 minutes.
- The scientists use a very technical term to describe the aftermath: REGIONAL CATASTROPHE.
- 21 million people live in the effected area. The San Andreas Fault where it will occur runs through some of the most populated and fastest growing areas in SoCal.
- All of LA's water, fuel, electricity, rail lines run through the Cajon Pass where the epicenter is likely to be. Early estimates say 7-10 days until water or electricity is restored if major hubs like the Port of LA is not damaged.
- The effect of the earthquake will likely be too big to drive out of the affected area. LA and the LA basin will likely be cut off from the north, so any aid would have to come from SD (if it is not damaged).
- If the earthquake happens during a Santa Ana wind season, the risk of fire is intense. There will be no water to fight subsequent fires and emergency services will be otherwise occupied.

BRING ON THE APOCALYPSE. Say it with me: I LOVE LA!

Why I Should Be President

2007-12-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

I have more buzz than Barack Obama

I am only slightly less vicious than Hillary Clinton

I am less angry than John McCain

I am not NUTS like Mike Gravel

I do not wear magic underwear like Mitt Romney

I have never married my cousin or broken up with one of my 3 wives in a press conference like Rudy Giuliani

I believe in evolution unlike Mike Huckabee

I have never paid $400 for a haircut like John Edwards [full disclosure: if you add in hair color and products, then…]

I was never in “Curly Sue”, the low point of John Hughes’ career and that includes the “Home Alone” movies, like Fred Thompson.

I like meat and all the wonderful things animal products give me unlike Dennis Kucinich

I am more memorable than the rest of em.

Back in Black

2007-12-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'm wearing black to mourn the death of my holiday, and because I have gained so much weight that I will be wearing black for the duration.

Thanksgiving starred our own little pork chop, Quinn the Mighty and Merciless. Dont let the adorable face fool you. He's a cold-blooded killer.

Iain and I went to the Oregon coast for a couple days after Thanksgiving, staying in Arch Cape near Cannon Beach and Manzanita. It was midweek after Thanksgiving so most everything was closed for the season, but that was ok. We holed up in our hotel room, watched movies and read. We also took a very inspiring hike through Oswald West State Park up to Cape Falcon. This guy has a beautiful picture that really captures the feeling of the area, except for the pouring, pouring rain we had. Actually it was lovely. But wet. The Oregon coast really is beautiful and very dramatic.

From the coast we headed into Portland to spend a fabulous weekend with the very glamorous couple, Meanboy and Bun. We did too many glamorous things to recount all here, but I will try.

Barely a day goes by that the New York Times fails to write yet another slobbery wet kiss to Portland. While we do not have the slavish devotion to the NYT that some people have (ahem.), we still opted to sample the city's culinary delights. Brief reviews:

Clyde Common: buzzy airy restaurant in a new boutique hotel downtown. I had the "red salad" of cabbage and razor clams as a starter and meaty gnocchi dish for main. The star was clearly Iain and Bun's Puttanesca which was bold and slutty just like its name. Waiter was impossibly trendy and very, very dopey.

Nostrano: Stellar pizza and wine on a rainy Portland day. Iain raved about his powerhouse of a soup. Meanie says if you ask to have your Italian-style pizza cut for you, they will rather haughtily decline. I experienced no such insolence, although our waiter here was a dope too.

Grand Central Bakery: Mmmm tuna melt with no mayo. And lots of lesbians.

Cacao: Truly an "only in Portland" kind of place. It is a coffee shop that serves fancy hot chocolates as its specialty. Billed as a European-style hot chocolate, but I found mine to be less thick and less intense than some I've had. Still a gorgeous place.

Le Pigeon: This is The Restaurant in town and the one the NYT keeps mentioning. The blurb from the overall bj:

He transformed a little storefront restaurant into Le Pigeon, an informal, slightly manic spot with seasonally changing, nonconformist dishes like braised pork belly with creamed corn and butter-poached prawns, sweetbreads with pickled watermelon, and just about anything that can possibly involve tongue. His signature dessert is apricot cornbread with bacon, topped with maple ice cream.

In short, we loved it. The place was awesome. I had sweetbreads to start - doesnt that just scream "GOUT" - and Pork Stuffed Pork to follow. The pork was porcine, but the sweetbreads rocked. Iain's Cod with Lobster Balls (*snicker) tasted totally rich (*surprise) unlike what you expect (*bland and white). Meanboy described his Beef Cheek Bourguignon as a "molasses brownie beef". That makes it sound slightly disgusting, but it wasnt. We passed on the fois gras profiteroles for dessert as I'd probably ingested enough entrails for one day. Meanboy and Bun's flourless chocolate cake with smoked marshmallow on graham cracker (smore, get it?) was the best dessert and only slightly strange.

But still, the best meals we had in Portland were the scones that Bun the Jazz Baker made us for breakfast (we had threatened to go to Costco and buy scones as big as your head) and the homemade ricotta gnocchi with fresh Oregon chanterelles, shitake, and Matsutaka mushrooms Meanboy made for dinner on our last night. Like I said, tooooooo glam for words.

Struck

2007-11-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

We have the worst luck . Iain gets his green card and production on just about everything shuts down thanks to this ridiculous strike. Sigh. Thank God the megamediacorporation currently screwing the writers is continuing to pay my rent.

Other annoyances:
Friday Night Lights is probably going to get the bullet now, which is beyond depressing.
I'm going to be forced to watch more news. Also beyond depressing.
I have no place to channel my rage now that the Daily Show is in re-runs.
My tivo is lonely.

But as with so much in life, there is always a silver lining.

The Upside of The Strike:
Bionic Woman is circling the drain. I had big hopes, but the show blows and deserves the flush.
The World's Greatest Reality Show, OJ's Life, is about to start a new season.
I'll get to catch up on Netflix.
Kenny the Torturer has returned to my life for a whole new round of gym-based waterboarding.

If you need a handy guide to what's what according to the writers, check this or this out. YouTube is pretty rich hunting for vids from the writers. The producers: not so much.

Tacowhores Anonymous

2007-11-13T09:58:00.000-08:00

My blog viewings go up everytime I write about tacos... so tacowhores, this one's for you.

Actually, I'm not a massive taco fan. I havent really mastered the art (and apparently, it is an art) of eating one without bathing in it first. I often end up doing the totally gringo thing and eat the damn thing with a fork and knife. Still, there's something infinitely attractive about tacos. Most burritos are actually physically larger than your stomach, enchiladas and chimichangas make me feel guilty - tacos are kind of a little bit of perfect in their simplicity.

Anyway.

My favorite local taco place is called Cactus. I order the carne asada with avocado, cheese, and sour cream - all of which I'm sure will horrify the purists. Taco Purists are the distant cousins of Sushi Purists ("Eaters of California Rolls Will Be Prosecuted To the Fullest Extent of the Law") and Steak Purists ("My grandma eats filet mignon"). Whatever. I dont care. I like me some tacos. I've tried the carnitas and the chicken at this place, both were rather unremarkable, but the carne asada rocks.

Hollywood is rapidly gentrifying, but this little corner of the world is so not. Kind of funny story from a kind of funny website to give you an idea of what the neighborhood is like.

My absolute favorite. No place is better. Stop your hunt, you've already found the best taco. The orange sauce, I believe it's chipotle, is deadly. I spilled some in my car long ago. Several days after that, I had forgotten about the spill and saw an orange stain on my seat. I scratched at it, saw a little disappear and vowed to attack it later. About five minutes after that, this was during my morning commute, I rubbed my eye with that hand. Bad, bad idea. I was blinded and in pain for about 10 minutes. I had to pull over.As for the homeless vibe at this taco stand, that's not all: it's just down the street from the Hollywood mental health clinic. The last time I went to Cactus, I was approaching the seating area when I saw a pretty normal looking latin guy with long hair walking along the sidewalk. He was approaching the ordering window but was clearly going to walk past it. Two well-dressed young guys were seated at the tables, enjoying their tacos. A family was there as well. Suddenly, one of the well-dressed guys starts yelling and has a look on his face of total disbelief. "WTF!? W. T. F?! That's fucken blood, man!" Sure enough, he had blood all over him. In fact, there was a trail of bright red blood all along the sidewalk right behind the long-haired guy. His arm was pouring blood and he was waving his it to and fro, lazily splattering blood from side to side. He had gotten some all over the now angry diner. The family fled and the blood-covered guy said "get the crowbar". They went to their car and got a tire iron. The long-haired guy was now across the little street just south of Cactus. The blood-covered guy was threatening to make the long-haired guy bleed some more. The longhair got on his knees and begged to not be beaten. He acted rather out-of-it and crazy (duh). Mr. Blood realized that he was dealing with someone missing all of his faculties and spared him. I'm guessing that he put his fist through a window on his way down from the clinic. He didn't look homeless at all. The two guys complained about how they wouldn't be able to return to work covered in blood. I ordered, had a seat, and enjoyed two wonderful carne asada tacos.

BTW this place is ugly. But good. mmmm.

More Sassy Girl's Guide to Europe

2007-11-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

A couple suggested adds/subtractions to the Sassy Girl's Guide to Europe:

Mom & V suggest adding Lisbon: "Easy, affordable, friendly, no hassles. Doesn't reach the heights of Paris, Rome, etc, but very little downside."

Mom also chastises my shocking omission of Venice: "Only the MOST romantic city on the planet!" I found it cold and overpriced, although it IS Venice. So you gotta go, I guess.

Sonia disputes my Budapest description: "I think it's a great place for a weekend. Small enough to have a great wander around but big enough to have some adventures. Perhaps the group of five girls getting invited into an after drinks party by the waiters at a posh restaurant and drinking half the lovely wine the cellar added to the experience..." Yeah I'm sure the cellar of wine made the city a little more welcoming than I found it!

My lovely husband likes Siena: "Less touristed than Florence but equally important and The Palio - the crazy horse race around the town - is memorable".

And gotta love Linda's recommendation for The Hague: "she must must must go to the torture museum in the hague! it's like abu ghraib on less than 50 bucks a day."

Dorkus Maximus

2007-11-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

This is Chaim Gur-Arieh, Owner and Winemaker at C.G. Di Arie. He wants to be your friend.

I like this wine, but this picture is totally dorky.

Lovely Ljubjlana

2007-11-05T10:49:00.001-08:00

Joanna's sister is living in The Hague (I always liked the sound of that. Is there another Hague so they got all shirty and decided to call themselves THE Hague?). Jo asked me for my 5-top destinations in Europe to give her sister some ideas. I figured, everyone likes different things on holidays, not everyone likes eating reindeer, so I broadened it out a bit. I present to you My 5-Minute Guide to Europe. Let me know what you think!

The Obvious, but have to be done
- Florence
- Barcelona
- Rome
- Paris
- London

Underrated
- Sardinia – great place to get away from the Eurotrash of it all. Good beaches and cheap food n wine.
- Mallorca – Stay away from the mega-tourist resorts, but the rest of the island is really interesting and beautiful. Great food.
- Glasgow/Edinburgh – scrubby fun arty city and its beautiful sister. Make like a local and get drunk and get in a fight in a pub! Great jumping off place to the Scottish Highlands which are also awesome
- Vienna – good food, good art, beautiful city. Shame about the Austrians.
- Brussels – good food, good art, beautiful city. Shame about the Belgians.
- Stockholm & Copenhagen – Too trendy for words and all the beautiful people can be intimidating, but fun nights out and great shopping.
- Helsinki – love love love Finland – like Sweden only more Russian and fewer Europe’s Next Top Models. They have tango clubs and you can eat reindeer. LOVE.
- Zurich – Switzerland is gorgeous, the skiing is great, you can sing The Hills Are Alive, and the glaciers are melting so go now.
- Counties Clare and Kerry in Ireland (west coast) – the people are simply the best in the world. Truly atmospheric – you can roll into a pub on a rainy day, listen to music, drink beer. Some would call that wasting a day, but I call it superawesome. Ennis is a good place to start.

Off the Beaten Track but awesome
- Talinn, Estonia – weird and looks like a movie set – like Helsinki only more foreign. Don’t go expecting edible food.
- Vilnius, Lithuania – small compact town that is very well-preserved. They have a really fun night life.
- Istanbul – one of the food capitols of the universe. And the sightseeing – the mosques and the Bosphorus – cannot be beaten.
- Reykjavik, Iceland – to be honest, I’ve only flown in and out of here about 10 times, but it looks wild. I haven’t spent a serious night in town, but I hear it is awesome and the Blue Lagoon is supposed to be unmissable.
- Dubrovnik, Croatia – Ad campaign’s tag line is “like the Mediterranean used to be”, whatever that means. A little weird, but in a fun way. Dubrovnik is now a UNESCO Heritage city so most of the bullet holes are fixed. Island hopping off the coast is fun.
- Wales – if you like your holidays adventuresome – walking, horse riding, hiking and pub fighting – you may like this. Some cool towns tucked away in unlikely places. Do your research ahead of time so you don’t end up in some bombed out Welsh mining towns.

Overrated
- Athens – Athens is essentially a 3rd world city. It can be tolerable if you know someone who can take you around, and the islands in the south are amazing.
- Prague – populated by expensive (I'm told) prostitutes and film crews. Things that should be cheap aren’t, and things that aren’t cheap are yucky.
- Oslo – So expensive it hurts to breathe, but the rest of Norway is unbelievable, esp the west coast/fjords like Bergen so don’t count Norway out completely
- French wine country – breathtaking, but you feel like a giant tourist the whole time (except when drinking vast amounts of rose and being bombarded by bats, but that's a different story)
- Dublin – I love Dublin and I feel like I could go back there all the time and never get sick of it, but most people I know disagree with me.
- Budapest – inedible food and brutalist architecture. It is interesting and creative, but can be a little impenetrable if you’re only going for a weekend.
- Monte Carlo/French Riviera – I guess you have to go at some point just for the ridiculous wealth on display, but really really not my scene.
- Milan/Genoa – They work hard there. You can tell.
- Stuttgart/Frankfurt – occasionally people try to convince me that Stuttgart is the home of great German food and Frankfurt is, well, convenient. Yeah, not so much.

I’ve never been, but I hear is nice
- Madrid
- Ljubljana (seriously. supposed to be nice. whatever.)
- Munich
- Berlin

Rachel's Kitchen Nightmares

2007-11-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

One of the great pleasures of my mom's adopted hometown, Ashland Oregon, is the restaurant reviews in the local newspaper. The area actually does have a lot of great food at all points on the spectrum, from creative-fancy American cuisine, to classic French, to great little Mexican holes-in-the-walls. The reviews, however, seem to be most concerned with the size of the portions and how they package your leftovers.

Victor kindly forwarded me the latest review, which I excerpt here:

It is early Sunday night when my dining companion and I enter the G Street Bar and Grill. The sushi chefs are making hand rolls, the aroma of french fries wafts from the kitchen — and a duo of belly dancers gyrate to hip hop music. The boom box is so loud, it reverberates in our hungry bellies.

If that aint enough to give you nightmares...it gets worse.

Between the East-West menu, the mishmash of seating and the variety of original artwork ranging from stylized murals to the nature scenes adorning each booth, this place desperately needs a cohesive makeover. The net effect is a tilt-a-whirl world reminiscent of a Baz Lurhmann film. My beau wants to head for the door. But there's something oddly appealing about the crazy jumble. It hints of culinary adventure. I want to stay.

I'm with her beau.

He graciously concedes, transfixed by the undulating bejeweled women of all shapes and ages. "This is the weirdest place we've ever been to," he says, as we slide into a ringside booth. "Might as well have a view."

Uh. I guess so. Doesnt sound like that's going to help. Trust me on this.

I suggest he order the chicken soba noodles ($7). Since he's being such a good sport, I want my soup-loving beau to order a dish he'll like.

Break up with her. Now.

But in keeping with the wacky vibe, I select the strangest item on the non-Japanese side of the menu — Halibut Foster ($15.95). The chef has morphed a fish dish into an homage to the famous dessert. My 8-ounce halibut filet will arrive covered in caramelized banana wedges and brown sugar liquor. This could be killer good.

Ok, definitely dump the cow. In case you werent paying attention, that is HALIBUT COVERED IN CARMELIZED BANANA WEDGES AND BROWN SUGAR LIQUOR. I'm pretty sure the United Nations Security Council passed a resolution at some point about a dish like that.

Her verdict on the halibut once served:

The halibut filet is smaller than expected, and has a tropical flavor due to the bananas. Its mood is very Hawaiian.

Thanks for the insight.

As an aside, I once accidentally ordered a chicken breast in a strawberry-banana sauce at a restaurant (what can I say - it was Budapest in 1993 and no English menus). When I know it might be awhile before I eat again, I sometimes think about that dish to kill my appetite.

I wont torture you with any more. But if you can believe it, she actually recommends the restaurant...and suggests you visit on belly dancing night. Might have to give that one a miss.

I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass

2007-11-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

I posted the wrong address for the wedding website: its http://www.iainandrachel.com/.

We have our interview by the Department of Homeland Security on December 7. I believe this is the meeting where we have to convince them that Iain and I are a real couple and they ask us questions like what are his favorite foods yadda yadda. Like The Newlywed Game, only the stakes are much, much higher.

A friend was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. Particularly cruel, because she has 2 kids, is younger than me, never smoked, and plays basketball at least twice a week (she mistakenly invited me to play with her once, not knowing that this is NOT a sport in which I excel. I'm probably more use at cricket). She is of course amazing and brave and positive. Anyway, she was asking for some "I'm going to kick cancer's ass" music for her ipod while she's doing chemo. I started on this list, but feel free to add some more:

Miracle Drug – AC Newman
Meds – Placebo
Nausea - Beck
Smile – Lily Allen
I Fought in a War – Belle & Sebastian
Wake up – Arcade Fire
I Feel It All – Feist

The Eye of the Tiger Principle:
Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith
Hey Ya – OutKast
As – Stevie Wonder
Panama – Van-bloody-Halen

And just because I like the title: I Am Not Afraid Of You and I Will Beat Your Ass – Yo La Tengo

And you will know us by our smokers cough

2007-10-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Apologies for the looong delay in posts, but life/work got in the way.

The fires were truly crazytown. The fires are mostly out now, but the retro 1970's air quality remains. There's something about fires that scares me more than weather. You cant get away from fire. You cant protect yourself or your home. It is sort of like a tsunami in that sense. The big difference, of course, is most of the people that lost their homes in southern California have resources...they are not the kind of people that cant afford a car to drive out of town when the mandatory evacuations go out like Katrina. In fact, our bookers kept finding fire evacuees holed up in the Ritz-Carlton Downtown San Diego. This does not diminish their loss at all, but it is definitely a different kind of story to cover. Everyone will rebuild their homes and they will all burn down again within the next 5 years. The circle of life continues.

I cant write about work on this blog but this was our biggest field operation since Katrina and it was mental. Take me out for a drink if you want to know more on that.

Went to the LA premiere of CNN's Planet in Peril at Mann's Chinese Theatre and the party after at the Roosevelt Hotel . It was unusually swank for CNN, where parties usually involve an open bar for 15 mins and tacos that run out about 5 mins after the free bar does. Matthew McConaughey winked at me.

Stayed at a cool hotel in Santa Monica called The Oceana. Unfortunately, we were staying there because our flat has been torn to pieces. Apparently they have found traces of black mold and want to get it early. I wont bore with the details but it is driving me INSANE. Anyway, the hotel was fab, really fab.

The Save the Dates on the wedding party are going out soon. I have confirmed that the place I booked did not burn down in the Malibu fire. I thought it had, but apparently had been spared. Check out our website at www.iainandrachel.com and let me know what you think.