Stunning Victory for Meanboy

Meanboy swept to victory in the Oscar pool after his psychic channeling of winners in all the major categories. A sixth-sense is the only explanation for correctly guessing Alan Arkin (curse on Norbit!). I came in a very respectable second place.

Favorite dress: Gwyneth Paltrow. Runner-up: Rachel Weiss. Cate Blanchett and Rinko Kinkuchi also looked amazing.
Least Fave: J Lo (pregnant? if not, yuck). Celine Dion: that color was yuck.
Holy silver foxettes! How amazing did Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton look?! And only limited botox among them.
Cameron Diaz needs to be blond again.

From elmo gets it

I watched Elmo get lynched this weekend. Apparently, they do not make pinatas to be beat to hell anymore (too violent?). You just tug on ribbons streaming from Elmo's butt, and he shits out candy and plastic toy guns. Kids like it I guess. Campbell Viles was a bit overwhelmed by all the attention, but not permanently scarred at the ritual torture and murder of his beloved Muppet.

From elmo gets it

From elmo gets it

Today I'd like to talk about a sensitive issue

If you experience an erection lasting longer than 12 hours, contact your doctor.

INDEED

The erectile dysfunction (or "E-D" - and when did that become an acronym that everyone recognizes?) ads that are EVERYWHERE now make me laugh every damn time. I mean, not at the condition (I'm sure its very serious blah de blah) but the hilarious caution list that inevitably follows. Besides the marathon erection warning, my other favorite is the warning against standing because of rapid blood loss from the head (to Mr. Cha-Cha, I expect).

Rachel rocks the crosnes

I had dinner with some former colleagues at Lucques last night. I love this restaurant, but have had some near-misses there recently - the service can be reeeeeeeally slow, and the food can occasionally be a bit, er, spartan. But last night was great. I had the stuffed saddle of rabbit with farro, mustard greens, and alex's crosnes. What are crosnes, you ask. Look right. That's what they look like.

FIVE FACTS ABOUT CROSNES
1. They are a member of the mint family, but its the root bit that you eat.
2. They are named after a town in France where they once were v popular.
3. They are also called Chinese or Japanese artichokes and grow wild in those countries.
4. They can be baked, boiled, roasted or fried. The French saute them in butter. But they saute everything in butter so this fact isnt that interesting.
5. Afficionados say the California crosnes taste better than the French because they are grown in soil here and in sand in France.
6. They make you gassy.
7. I made #6 up.

We also had a very nice Pinot Noir, the rare kind of Pinot that makes you want to have more and more and more until you think the rabbit is talking back to you. Sadly, I had one glass.

Starspot: Little Miss Sunshine and what looked like her family sat next to us. She was cute, except she was carrying that damn stuffed monkey that she said is going to be her date to the Oscars. I cant shake the feeling that she's going to end up on the Drew Barrymore rather than the Kirsten Dunst end of the crazy kid actor spectrum.

IN MEMORY
My Great Uncle Dave died today after a good life well-lived. He was my Grandma Angie's brother and they were like 2 peas in a pod. He was a farmer and looked like something out of central casting - "bring me a classic looking Italian farmer!" He was amazingly good natured, sweet, and generous except when it came to one thing: Norwegians. He's the only person I've ever met to be racist about Scandinavians. I remember visiting him on Saturdays at the St Paul Farmer's Market - once I brought my friend Liz who he thought was the cutest thing ever and hugged her a little too energetically. We had a pretty good laugh over that one, but not sure Liz did! I will miss him. He was a ray of sunshine.

Chin is all about the justice

This is Miss Georgia Bahn. She is the Paris Hilton of the Atlanta baby set and the It girl of the 2024 Atlanta Debutante Ball. She has also reportedly made a major breakthrough on cold fusion technology, and is currently penning a follow up to her hit debut "Can I Drool on Your Caterpillar?"

I like Lucy Liu and miss her. She was the only thing that made Ally McBeal bearable. She was good on Ugly Betty, but she must get kind of sick of playing the sharp-tongued smart girl with no social skills. Its basically the same as the Christina Yang character on Grey's Anatomy. Kafka always admired Lucy Liu's freckles. They are cute.

Speaking of the same character, I think 24 is far overdue having a hot female assassin. What's La Femme Nikita doing these days? Why are all the women on 24 either simpering doormats or manipulative Hillary Clinton-clones?

Oscar preps have started in my neighborhood, and all the roads are shut down. Since I moved to LA I have boasted at my brilliance of living so close to work and not ever having to deal with famed LA traffic. I will now get down off of my high horse.

An Open Love Letter to My Boy

But first a word on Kenny the Torturer: OUCH.

The Surge(tm) is progressing despite the nearly constant pain. All that shit about having SO MUCH MORE ENERGY when you work out is bullshit. When you work out, you expend energy. Its physics, people.

Now back to the sweetest man in the history of sweet men. He is my oasis of sanity in an desert of imbecility. He brings reason to an irrational world. Why? BECAUSE HE DID NOT KNOW ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED UNTIL I TOLD HIM *YESTERDAY*. Honestly, it doesnt get cuter than that. He is currently attempting to let his flat in London - no easy task, especially when you are looking for a renter without a crippling drug habit or links to the Russian mob. If you know anyone fitting into that rather broad demo looking for a flat, let me know. Grazie.

***BREAKING NEWS***

BRITNEY: STILL BALD!
ANNA NICOLE SMITH: STILL DEAD!
LOS ANGELES: RAINING!


Yes, the world spins on another axis this morning.

From Chinese NY

Chinese New Year was not as porcine as hoped - we had some elegant drinks at the Downtown Standard (where it rained and my hair frizzed) and then repaired to Mountain Bar for a little hot Billie Jean dancing action. But back to The Surge(tm) today and looking forward to my session tonight with Kenny The Torturer(tm).

From Chinese NY

Happy New Year OINK!

Peg and I are off to celebrate Chinese New Year in Chinatown tonight. The Chinese restaurants are supposed to be more zoo-like than usual and, of course, nothing much is open in Little Tokyo on a Sunday (and it seems in bad form to go to a Japanese restaurant on Chinese New Year) so we are just going to a club in Chinatown that Peg likes (Mountain Bar). This isnt a particularly Chinese-y looking pig to celebrate the year of the pig, but he is cute and pink. Nice tail.

I had the best Fourme D'Ambert cheese today acquired from the local cheese shop rather annoyingly named "Say Cheese". Despite the hokey name, it is rather impressive. The impressively large man behind the counter made me try it first because it is soaked in Sauternes and some people dont like that. It definitely doesnt taste like a normal blue cheese, but has a nice smooth sweetness. Mr. Cheesy Giant did neglect to tell me how much it cost until after I had committed to a slice. Gulp. For true cheeseophiles only.

Caught up on the new season of Lost this weekend and...I'm still lukewarm. Although that Dominic guy is seriously hot. I'm a sucker for a Scottish accent.

Gratuitous beautiful shot of Sophie

This is for you, Lizbutt

FRENCH SILK PIE

Printed from COOKS.COM

1 1/2 sticks butter

1 1/2 c. sugar

2 tsp. vanilla

4 pkgs. Nestle's Choco Bake unsweetened chocolate

3 eggs

Blend butter and add sugar, vanilla and chocolate. Blend together, add eggs, one at a time, beating 3 to 5 minutes after each egg. Pour into 9" crust. Cool 3 hours. Top with whipped cream.

Please dont use that drill on my shoulder!

Ok I like torture as much as the next person...I mean, who doesnt sometimes fancy a little electroshock therapy? But 24 is just loopy. I still contend its the best comedy on tv. I’m so glad they made Karen Hughes a regular. She’s definitely going to die. I hope someone drops a suitcase nuke on the President’s sister. STOP YOUR WHINING. PEOPLE ARE DYING. AND YOUR (cheap polyester) SUIT IS GETTING SWEATY. Bored rigid by Chloe, which is a disappointment. And wasnt Jack's sister-in-law/fmr bedmate on General Hospital?

What else I am watching at the moment:

ROME: like this season much better. I’m always game for gratuitous sex and violence thinly veiled as a quality series.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: excellent. This is a really high-end “OC” or “Dawson’s Creek”- type show, but a lot smarter and more disciplined, and I don’t feel guilty watching it.

HEROES: Pays off every episode and a 3-year old could follow the plot lines, so you dont spend 2 years of your life watching it and thinking "BUT WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE DAMN POLAR BEAR". It is the anti-"Lost". Which I dont hate, but does annoy.

UGLY BETTY: I love this show so much because I’m an enormous fruit fly. I GAYS. And this show might be gayer than Sex in the City. I love that it is art-directed within an inch of its life. The rival secretary makes me giggle everytime she’s on air.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: I find when I tell people I watch this show, they expect me to show up at their house speaking Klingon, but honestly... such a smart show. Its pretty dark, but I love it. You should definitely Netflix it from the beginning. You could pick it up now, but you would miss all the building plot lines (a la Wire).

OTHER: Iain watches some Discovery Channel series called 2057 about future technologies. I watch Grey’s Anatomy when I can be bothered. Which isnt often. I watch Extras but I have to be in the mood for watching abject humiliation. The Office was more satisfying.

Oscar Update: Rachel will not be going to the ball

Boo hoo. There was a brief moment where it looked like I may be the only person at CNN not working on Oscar night and might actually be attending the ball. The upside: at least I dont need to shell out for a new dress. A famous designer from Minnesota had offered me a freebie....

More VD from the boys up north

More art from The Artist Currently Known As The Bun and Meanster.

I also have art from my boy, unfortunately it is not in a format I can share here.

Happy Valentine's Day to ME

Thanks to the lovely Patrick (aided and abetted by Meanboy) for my beautiful valentine.

Quads of Steel! Shins of Flame!

Laura and I hit the slopes at Heavenly Valley for 2 days over the weekend. The mountain had just been dumped on, so we had lots of snow. The lower part of the mountain was just breathtaking. The higher elevations provided me with an opportunity to test my patented "Zen Skiing" technique: basically, it was white-out conditions higher up, so you close your eyes and feel the hill. I used to be an ok skiier, but that is obviously in the past. My legs held up rather brilliantly, so special shout out to Kenny the Torturer for those killer squats. We won a bit at the casino (operative word being BIT) and talked lots of drunken crap with random people we met on and off the slopes. Our cousin Patty made a special guest starring appearance at the casino. Or at least I think she did. I'd had a lot of vodka at that point. Sigh.

One last question: if they can put a man on the moon, why cant they invent a ski boot that doesnt feel like someone is driving butcher knives into your shins?

More pix!

Princess v Paparazzi

From Tahoe w Laura

Sophie was, despite the look of this picture, in very good spirits. We played castle and queen. Sometimes I got to be the maid and sometimes I got to be the princess. Just like life.

Snow bunnies head to the hills

Laura and I are headed for the aptly-named Heavenly Valley today for some hard core schussing. I was first allowed some quality time with the ever-enchanting Princess Sophie. Pix to come.