The Family Curse

My back is killing me. OUCH. Bad backs run in my family, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before it afflicted me. I think I pulled something while fraternizing with Kenny the Torturer. Because both my parents struggle with their backs I know that there is no easy cure/pill you can take to fix it. But I am slightly bitter because I thought I was doing everything right: I work out, and do special exercises to build up strength in my lower back, I have lost weight, I have an ergonomic desk and keyboard so I'm not hunched over all day. Grrrr. I cant really think properly at work if I dont take painkillers, and if I take painkillers then I cant really think properly at work. So you see my dilemma.

I will have to rely on my illness cureall: watching "Pride and Predjudice" dvds over and over again until I feel better.

Why my diet The Surge is like the real Surge in Iraq

1. Both are difficult
2. Neither are working very well at the moment.
3. Both need some time before we judge them a success or failure.
4. Both were billed as temporary solutions (diet till the wedding! vs troops until September) but are most likely going need to become permanent to have any impact at all.
5. Extension of both Surges will make a lot of people (me!) very angry.
6. Both feature lots of sweating.

My New Management Philosophy

I am not supposed to write about work under punishment of torture (or, as George Tenet might say, "enhanced interrogation") but I will give you a window into my new management philosophy.

Thanks to the boy for the enhanced version of the above.

Incidentally, Kenny the Torturer has turned me on to boxing. While I find it infinitely more enjoyable than endless lunges and the f-ing elliptical, one thing is painfully clear: I do not have much of a killer instinct. I just dont ever get that rush of blood to the head that makes me want to HURT someone. I'm more of a slow burn, I guess.

Little Bundles of Joy

Strawberry season has arrived in California. A report on the news says the industry has completely recovered from the early season freeze. I can assure all of my many readers in the UK (ahem.) that strawberries in California are among the most perfect delectable treats in the world and put the woody tasteless red blobs you limeys call strawberries to shame. Oh yeah, and thanks for pulling your troops out of Iraq too.

Incidentally, we saw a package of 18 perfect strawberries in a food market in Japan. The cost: $120.

First session since my holiday with Kenny the Torturer last night. The Boy is trying to convince me to change his tag to Kenny the Devastator, but I think that sounds too much like a professional wrestler. He promised to make yday's workout only a 4 on the Day After Pain Scale (DAPS). I'm hovering near a 5 at the moment.

BREAKING PIZZA NEWS

We interrupt my random Japan ramblings to break this exclusive news report: I have secured a reservation at Pizzeria Mozza. Granted its for 5pm on a Monday in 2 weeks, but that should not diminish my Herculean efforts. This from the LAT:

Pizzeria Mozza isn't just a restaurant. It's an action film, a master class in
the art of making pizza, a trip through Italy's wine regions and a magnet for a
diverse crowd of hungry diners only Los Angeles could muster. It's the toughest
reservation in town, maybe in the country right now, the place where everybody
in the food world wants to eat. After months of buzz and speculation, Nancy
Silverton, who brought us La Brea Bakery and co-founded Campanile, and Mario
Batali, the New York chef with a big appetite and an ever-growing collection of
high-profile restaurants, have finally opened part one of Mozza at the corner of
Melrose and Highland avenues.

AND they serve lardo. Mmmmm lardo. Kenny the Torturer will be verrrrrry angry.

Back to more Nippon natters tomorrow. The computer is making my eyes burn.

Los Angeles: The City of Short Men

I worked out next to this guy yesterday. Kenny the Torturer was impressed with his abs (in a totally professional sense). He is, like every other "famous" person I have seen since moving to Los Angeles, shorter in person. He is, unlike most other "famous" people I have seen, really really hot. He might look better now than he did on Melrose Place. Or Ryan's Hope. It is very sad that I know his work in this much detail.

An Open Love Letter to My Boy

But first a word on Kenny the Torturer: OUCH.

The Surge(tm) is progressing despite the nearly constant pain. All that shit about having SO MUCH MORE ENERGY when you work out is bullshit. When you work out, you expend energy. Its physics, people.

Now back to the sweetest man in the history of sweet men. He is my oasis of sanity in an desert of imbecility. He brings reason to an irrational world. Why? BECAUSE HE DID NOT KNOW ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED UNTIL I TOLD HIM *YESTERDAY*. Honestly, it doesnt get cuter than that. He is currently attempting to let his flat in London - no easy task, especially when you are looking for a renter without a crippling drug habit or links to the Russian mob. If you know anyone fitting into that rather broad demo looking for a flat, let me know. Grazie.

***BREAKING NEWS***

BRITNEY: STILL BALD!
ANNA NICOLE SMITH: STILL DEAD!
LOS ANGELES: RAINING!


Yes, the world spins on another axis this morning.

From Chinese NY

Chinese New Year was not as porcine as hoped - we had some elegant drinks at the Downtown Standard (where it rained and my hair frizzed) and then repaired to Mountain Bar for a little hot Billie Jean dancing action. But back to The Surge(tm) today and looking forward to my session tonight with Kenny The Torturer(tm).

From Chinese NY