Rachel's Rules for Debt-Free Living

As of today, I am officially free of credit card debt. I still have a Kirsti-Alley-on-a weeklong-donut-binge-size mortgage on my flat in London, but still. I consider paying off my credit cards a major achievement. Forget Suze Orman, or any of those other money witch doctors: here are a couple of the crucial rules that helped free me of my credit card debt.

1. Dont buy shit. Dont buy "shit" as in crappy crap that you dont need and "shit" in the sense of dont buy anything at all, ever. Its hard, but you get used to it.
2. Marry a husband that can live off air and the flesh of small insects if the need arises. It helps that he (occasionally) has a job, but the fact that he doesnt seem to have any material desires whatsoever is helpful.
3. Make your parents pay for college. I did, and it works. It helped that I didnt get into any of the horrifyingly expensive private colleges I applied to and was forced to go to a state school, but now I'm just quibbling. They paid, and I came out of college able to wait long enough to get a job I actually like and pays me a fair amount of money. Which brings me to number 4.
4. Get a job that pays you a fair amount of money. Its nice to be a community organizer, but Obama was a community organizer and he's never been able to live it down. Become a banker. At least when you get laid off, you'll get a golden parachute.