Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Tacowhores Anonymous

My blog viewings go up everytime I write about tacos... so tacowhores, this one's for you.

Actually, I'm not a massive taco fan. I havent really mastered the art (and apparently, it is an art) of eating one without bathing in it first. I often end up doing the totally gringo thing and eat the damn thing with a fork and knife. Still, there's something infinitely attractive about tacos. Most burritos are actually physically larger than your stomach, enchiladas and chimichangas make me feel guilty - tacos are kind of a little bit of perfect in their simplicity.

Anyway.

My favorite local taco place is called Cactus. I order the carne asada with avocado, cheese, and sour cream - all of which I'm sure will horrify the purists. Taco Purists are the distant cousins of Sushi Purists ("Eaters of California Rolls Will Be Prosecuted To the Fullest Extent of the Law") and Steak Purists ("My grandma eats filet mignon"). Whatever. I dont care. I like me some tacos. I've tried the carnitas and the chicken at this place, both were rather unremarkable, but the carne asada rocks.

Hollywood is rapidly gentrifying, but this little corner of the world is so not. Kind of funny story from a kind of funny website to give you an idea of what the neighborhood is like.

My absolute favorite. No place is better. Stop your hunt, you've already found the best taco. The orange sauce, I believe it's chipotle, is deadly. I spilled some in my car long ago. Several days after that, I had forgotten about the spill and saw an orange stain on my seat. I scratched at it, saw a little disappear and vowed to attack it later. About five minutes after that, this was during my morning commute, I rubbed my eye with that hand. Bad, bad idea. I was blinded and in pain for about 10 minutes. I had to pull over.As for the homeless vibe at this taco stand, that's not all: it's just down the street from the Hollywood mental health clinic. The last time I went to Cactus, I was approaching the seating area when I saw a pretty normal looking latin guy with long hair walking along the sidewalk. He was approaching the ordering window but was clearly going to walk past it. Two well-dressed young guys were seated at the tables, enjoying their tacos. A family was there as well. Suddenly, one of the well-dressed guys starts yelling and has a look on his face of total disbelief. "WTF!? W. T. F?! That's fucken blood, man!" Sure enough, he had blood all over him. In fact, there was a trail of bright red blood all along the sidewalk right behind the long-haired guy. His arm was pouring blood and he was waving his it to and fro, lazily splattering blood from side to side. He had gotten some all over the now angry diner. The family fled and the blood-covered guy said "get the crowbar". They went to their car and got a tire iron. The long-haired guy was now across the little street just south of Cactus. The blood-covered guy was threatening to make the long-haired guy bleed some more. The longhair got on his knees and begged to not be beaten. He acted rather out-of-it and crazy (duh). Mr. Blood realized that he was dealing with someone missing all of his faculties and spared him. I'm guessing that he put his fist through a window on his way down from the clinic. He didn't look homeless at all. The two guys complained about how they wouldn't be able to return to work covered in blood. I ordered, had a seat, and enjoyed two wonderful carne asada tacos.

BTW this place is ugly. But good. mmmm.

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