And without any further ado...

So, the Oscars.

We left the house about 330p. We decided to skip the limo and just drive ourselves. It was absolutely pouring, so the entire red carpet was tented. We went through a ticket usher, then through a metal detector, then you walk through a curtain and WOW.

Total sensory overload. The Red Carpet is split in 2 - the nominees and presenters walk down the left side, and the rest of the riffraff down the right. There are bleachers set up behind the press with about 200 people sitting screaming at the stars as they walk by. I stood behind Ryan Seacrest for awhile looking like a lemon in hopes that my sister would see me on tv. I also stood behind Heidi Klum (taller, skinnier, more beautiful in person) also looking like a total dork. The Red Carpet turns the corner into the Kodak where all fashion photogs are coralled. We stood there for awhile. Others seen on the red carpet from a very close proximity: John Travolta (very strange/alien looking. weird spray-on hair), Tommy Lee Jones (what would he be if not an actor? - the wrinkles on his face should be insured), the couple from "Once" Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard (toooo cute), Kristin Chenoweth (adorable! gorgeous dress. really nice to everyone around her), Amy Adams (dress rocked. loved the hair), Jason Bateman (totally hot and uniquely not shorter in person), and Javier Bardem (total mmmm).

Inside, there was champagne and pink cocktails. Hors Doevres I think. Too overwhelmed to eat/not to drink lots of expensive champers.

We had nosebleed but not total nosebleed seats. We had a pretty good perspective on the door the stars went through to go onstage. Seen: Helen Mirren (dress looked better from a distance), Nicole Kidman (that necklace was simply amazing), Ellen Page, Diablo Cody. Jon Stewart was sweet. He seemed v v nervous. Show was LONG but the ad breaks seem shorter in person. Weirdly, I found some weird moments very moving.

Show over...now on to Governor's Ball. The room was so amazing. Very crowded and opulently decorated. Pink Martini was playing on a raised platform over the room. Our table was very strange: One of the Academy Governors and his wife, the director Norman Jewison ("Moonstruck", "In the Heat of the Night", "Thomas Crown Affair" and that other modern classic "Rollerball") and his ladyfriend, and the Russian nominees for Best Foreign Film ("12"). Norman Jewison is a huge CNN fan and told me stories about all of the actors he'd worked with that are obsessed with CNN ("Michael Caine nearly gave my French production manager a coronary trying to get CNN in his trailer!"). The Russians hoovered up all the hors doevres but were offended by the appetizer (mini-baked potatos with caviar) - "in my country, dees iz not SPECIAL!" - and left in a huff early on. The main course was a lovely steak w red wine sauce and macaroni and cheese with truffles. Dessert was architectural cherry chocolate cake. Lots and lots of nice champagne. But enough on the food, seen at the Ball: Harrison Ford and Bobblehead (he's short, she's just eew), Diablo Cody (again), Cohen Brothers, Jon Stewart (so very sweet and so very tiny), Casey Affleck, the guys from Superbad and Knocked Up (identical twins), and my favorite...Viggo Mortensen. He was kicked back in a round banqette, and I suddenly had this near-overwhelming urge to sit on his lap. I did not, dear reader, sit on Viggo Mortensen's lap. But oh how I wanted to.

I did not see, and will eternally regret it: Tilda Swinton and George Clooney.
Not there, and that disappoints me: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightly.

It was really fun. Lord knows I couldnt do this every year (or at least without a full-time stylist and facialist) but totally glad I went.