Iain's Map of LA

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An Open Love Letter to Michael Bay

Dear Michael Bay.

I love you. Your asteroid movie was definitely the best one. Pearl Harbor introduced the US to Kate Beckinsale, and she seems to have done quite nicely out of it. The Rock was fun, seriously (except the bit where all the good guys get shot on Alcatraz – that was mean). ScarJo looked amazing in that white jumpsuit in The Island. I liked Transformers, even if sometimes I couldn’t tell who was a bad robot and who was a good robot. I don’t believe anything I read on the web about your management style. I think you are fierce – in the Tyra Banks, America’s Next Top Model-way.

That is all.

Love, Me

When Farmer's Markets Attack

I've become flush with success on my Farmer's Market meals. Sunday's Zuni Roast Chicken salad using the lovely fresh arugula and Strawberry-Rhubarb crisp for dessert was total yummm. Sadly, last night my run ended....

Percatelli with grilled sardines, garlic breadcrumbs, and blood oranges. A Nigel Slater recipe. It was foul. Rank. Blech. It tasted like the pasta was tossed in fishy sand with a bitter warm blobs to charm it up. I dont think it was my fault (recipe clearly flawed) and I refuse to take responsibility.

Hopefully tonight's spring pea and prosciutto risotto will compensate.

The Jessica Biel of Sushi

Friday is a favorite night around the McBrown house. Friday is SUSHI NIGHT. Our little mini-tradition dates back to The Surge when I could not bear to cook another boneless skinless chicken breast the size of a pack of cards and longed to go to a restaurant like a normal person. If we went to a normal restaurant, I would run the risk of capitulating to the terrorists/calories, so sushi was the answer.

LA is, of course, saturated by sushi. We have 3 local favorites: Shintaro, Sushi Ike, and Katsu-ya. Shintaro is at the base of our hill in a very unlovely strip mall - good sushi, and excellent fusion appetizers. Sushi Ike is really old school sushi (no crazy rolls) in a really grim strip mall off Hollywood Blvd. Katsu-ya has 3 outposts - one new fancy trendy one in Hollywood, one old fancy trendy one in Brentwood, and one not fancy or trendy at all (yep, in a strip mall) in Studio City. We go to the unfancy one. Terrific sushi and they clearly put some sort of highly-addictive psychotropic drug in the spicy rock shrimp tempura because once I start, I. Must. Keep. Consuming. Spicy. Rock. Shrimp. Tempura.

They are all mildly amusing in their way. If Katsu-ya was an actress, she'd be Marilu Henner - someone who was cool once, and is very well-preserved, but kind of faded. The Katsu-ya in Brentwood would be Cameron Diaz and Hollywood would be Jessica Biel (or maybe someone a little more a-list.). My beloved Shintaro, with all its hipster Asian hottie waitresses and strip mall ambience is sort of Ellen Page-y. Sushi Ike is a little more challenging - like Adam Goldberg - who I actually saw there once. Jeez I'm bored today. I could do this for hours.

Mrs. Party Grumpy is won over by sugar and hydrogenated fats

Ok, so maybe I was being a grump. I actually had a really fun time at the dessert tasting. In the midst of my sugar poisoning, I acquiesed to a truly pornographic dessert table. It will be a mix of mini cupcakes and mini dessert "shots" in the following flavors:

Cupcakes: Meyer Lemon Raspberry, Red Velvet, Spicy Carrot, Black & White

Mini Dessert shots: Triple Berry Shortcake, Key Lime Pie, Dirt Pie

I just really like the idea of having DIRT PIE at my party. heh heh heh.

Princess Di aint got nothing on me

I am deep in party planning and let me tell you, this is going to be the event to end all events. This is going to make a royal wedding look austere. I'm talking naked models painted gold, 1000 white doves, fois gras hotdogs for all.

Well, not really.

I am finding the wedding industry incredibly dispiriting, so am skipping most of it. I have the advantage of not actually getting married, so can skip things. I met with the florist - nice, seems to be able to stick to a rather tight budget. Here's the one I liked best from her book. Too bright? Do I care? I dont know. I'm meeting w the dessert woman today. This is an excuse to eat lots of gooey things - and to think that Iain does not want to come with. Check it out here and let me know if there's anything that looks especially good to you. Next, I am sorting out transport. Very glamorous, this wedding shit.

Iain is doing amazingly well, thanks to all who have asked. He can be a total infant when he gets a cold, but he has turned into Clint f-ing Eastwood after this surgery. He REFUSES to take the prescribed Vicodin (relax - its already spoken for) because he has this ridiculous belief that "pain is your body trying to tell you something". Personally, I'm pretty sure we dont need his body to send us an email and know why his knee hurts. THEY CUT IT OPEN. Oh well - its his pain, not mine.

Breaking Sewage News
Iain has just informed me that the men digging up our sewer outside have hit a power line. The neighborhood is rioting in the street in their nightgowns (or as much as a bunch of second assistant directors and out of work screenwriters in nightgowns can riot at 1030am). I asked him to take pictures of the hilarity for your blog pleasure, but he trotted out the damn knee excuse. What a poser.

Up to Date

A catch all entry with no unifying theme. But here ya go:

We went to dinner last Saturday night at a yakitori (Japanese BBQ) to celebrate friend Rachel's bday. Nice food, but there is something disconcerting about a menu with multiple entrail offerings. I am a relatively adventurous eater, but there's not a lot about grilled chicken knuckle cartilage that reaches out to me.

The Hollywood Farmer's Market is in full Spring mode. I'm very excited about the leeks and swiss chard. I attempted to recreate the Platonic Ideal Grilled Cheese with the leeks and some Montgomery Cheddar from La Brea Bakery. MMMM. I roasted some tomatoes and used the swiss chard in my go-to dish of Grandma Sausages braised in wine with wild mushroom polenta (the dried porcinis from the Portland Farmer's Market). Iain juiced the beets before I could get my sweaty hands on them. The fun veg is not in yet, but you can see the glimmer of what's coming!

Iain has surgery on his old man knees tomorrow. Wish him luck!

RIP The Wire. Finales are always a bit of a disappointment, but this was still pretty true to the overarching theme: life is messy and shit doesnt work. SPOILER ALERT if you have not watched, stop now. I loved the way they ended the Marlo storyline, although I could not quite buy that he would just walk away from it. I did love the savage licking the blood off his arm after being shot - he's just an animal in the end. I was disappointed that they let McNulty off the hook completely but I suppose after all this time the writers had fallen a little bit in love with him. The Wire can be so difficult to watch, I guess you cant begrudge them for giving some of the characters a happy-ish ending. Dukie...oh that storyline really bums me out. One upside of The Wire ending is that we dont have to watch Dukie commit suicide in slow motion with a needle in his arm.

I am falling more and more in love with Lost every week. I was never a huge fan, but this season has really won me over. I think Lost is a little like golf - you probably enjoy it more if you are better at it or have been watching it since the beginning, but you can still enjoy it if you are just jumping in now. I also believe smart shows should be rewarded.

Another one to watch out for: the Sarah Connor Chronicles really perked up towards the end of its first season. I think it might end up being pretty good.

That's it for now.

The Hangover

I'm still suffering the after-effects of the Oscars, and I dont mean my orangifying. After an incredibly interesting weekend, everything else seems too dull to drone on about. But hey - I'll drone anyway.

We went to a birthday dinner for friend Faith at a new fancypants brasserie in LA called Comme Ca. Actually its not that fancypants, but people seem to like it which means fancypants LA people go. Let's just say, I wore heels. Annnnyway I had the brandade to start and the duck for a main - both very good renditions, but not life-changing. Matthew won most ballsy, ordering the roasted beef marrow with oxtail jam starter (mmm cholesterol-ly!) and Steve won for most ostentatious with a truly ridiculous seafood plateau. Fun!

Sunday we saw "Vantage Point". Check your brain at the door. For the record, I am a tedious person to see a movie about the television news industry with. The only redeeming quality the movie had was detaching me from a Sunday morning "America's Next Top Model" marathon that threatened to consume my soul. I cant figure out if Tyra Banks is an empowering role model or an evil cyborg sent to usher in a heartless-but-fierce robot age.

Is anyone watching "Lost"? Last week's was super good - love me some Desmond.