LA-LDN Travel Restrictions

I am going to London on Thursday for 2-1/2 weeks. Yay! London in January! What could be more romantic? I heard there is increased security on LA – LDN flights, but asked Iain’s friend Brian to look into it. Here is the official word from Brian’s exclusive sources:

1.
Please check smiles in your luggage. If you show any signs of happiness, people will know that you are not one of them a la “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. Keep it simple - a sour grey look of total hopelessness should do it. If you cannot muster sour grey, look violent. You will quickly recognize this look on the train or tube ride into London.

2.
Bring loads of dollars. An extra suitcase is recommended. The current conversion rate is $1=jackshit.

3.
Bring warm clothes. Global warming has not been definitively proved by scientists, and the 4 hours of “sunlight” coupled with the nearly constant rain will definitively prove the lack of proof to you.

4.
The lack of sun does require an adjustment for many, but you may not notice because it gets dark at 3pm. Drink as much as you can on the plane. This, coupled with pharmaceuticals, may help with 1, 3, and 4.

5.
Due to fear of terror, no sharp objects are allowed in hand luggage. Due to fear of a lot of other things too.

6.
Immediately upon deplaning, make sure all return flights back to L.A. are in good and proper order.

Thank you.