LA is funny

LA is weird. This is, of course, a well-known and explored fact. Still, this is worth a read.

L.A.: Life that art can't imitate
Reggie the alligator is further proof:
You can never make this city too crazy in fiction.
By Will Beall
August 20, 2007

So Reggie the alligator already has escaped once from his cell at the Los Angeles Zoo. Mark my words: No prison will hold him. He will escape again and steal a Ferrari Enzo.

This is what makes writing wild fiction about Los Angeles so hard. L.A. just won't be utdone. This city feeds on phantasmagoria. It mocks magic-realism and one-ups even the most florid fabulation. This city conjures car chases, for instance, that send Jerry Bruckheimer quivering to his stunt coordinator in despair. It's as though L.A. is a hoary old vaudevillian who refuses to be upstaged.

After park rangers first discovered Reggie two years ago -- some kids were trying to coax the thing out of the water with tortillas -- wranglers, wrestlers and problem-drinkers from across the country waded in to confront Lake Machado's dark prince. They all walked away empty-handed, all except Thomas "T-Bone" Quinn, a mouthy guy in a Crocodile Dundee hat. Turned out he was a wanted fugitive, so Los Angeles sheriff's deputies booked him on his warrant.

Reggie remained at large, perhaps feeding on the child molesters and sub-prime mortgage lenders who wandered too close to the water's edge. Eventually, in May, some city workers lassoed him and duct-taped him up. Which was for the best. Let's face it: Reggie is 7 1/2 feet long and 120 pounds, and he makes a lot of furtive movements. If it had been LAPD guys taking Reggie down, there would have been a video.

Reggie had his own noir back story worthy of a Warren Zevon song. The gator allegedly was dumped in the lake by an ex-L.A. cop. When the LAPD raided this dude's pad, officers found six marijuana plants, three more alligators, a rattlesnake and piranhas.

Piranhas. I'm not kidding. The police department now has set procedures for piranha encounters, but if I let them nibble someone in my next book, people will tell me it's just not realistic.

Anyway, this article is really funny if you want to read the whole thing. Click here if you want to read more about Reggie the Alligator. He, of course, has his own blog and myspace page. This is LA after all.