Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Paris fans RIOT! LA on FIRE!

Outraged Paris Hilton fans took to the streets Tuesday night in a conflagration of violence that left acres of valuable urban parkland burned, imprisoned zoo animals inconvenienced, and residents of one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Los Angeles sleeping on the floor of the high school where they filmed "Grease" and "Pretty in Pink" [ed. they couldnt afford a motel?] .

Officials say the fire was started by a homeless person who fell asleep with a cigarette, but that's just what THE MAN wants you to think! Its all part of the vast government conspiracy to imprison the inspirational light of modern society and then cover up the indignation that follows. Hello ABU GHRAIB anyone?
I might be suffering from smoke inhalation. My apartment smells like I've been doing a little indoor spit roasting. Sigh.

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